Manned space exploration gets set back by decades as overly cautious medical advisors try to figure out the cause of hair loss in astronauts.
Hair loss, eh.
Macular degeneration on the other hand :(
Every living creature, from the smallest protists to large elephants, grows lush facial hair. Creatures spend a large part of their days trying to trim it down only for it to grow again.
Since hair takes 1-2 years to decompose, discarded hair continues to build up. Some of it is burned, but that leads to other issues
Granted. Everyone on Earth now owns a Lovesense Lush which grows hair on its face.
Please don't, I don't want facial hair
I don't make the rules, ma'am
Way ahead of you buddy.
signed
- the paw
Everyone becomes dwarves and are forced to live underground
Everyone's lush facial hair also grows 30x faster than normal
Want to make a wish? Just ask the Monkey’s Paw! No strings attached.*
Just create a post that starts with “I wish ___”. Other users will then grant you the wish, and probably not how you intended.
^(*)^ ^Strings^ ^definitely^ ^attached.^ ^Satisfaction^ ^not^ ^guaranteed.^ ^Wish^ ^will^ ^likely^ ^backfire.^