this post was submitted on 09 Feb 2024
415 points (95.4% liked)

Programmer Humor

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[–] [email protected] 102 points 6 months ago (4 children)
  1. I am not made out of silly putty.
  2. I am not female.
  3. I cannot code.
  4. I am 120% less flexible than her.
  5. I lack a port hole through which to see the screen.
  6. I don't want to.
[–] [email protected] 21 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Apart from 3., I'm in full agreement.

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[–] [email protected] 81 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 59 points 6 months ago

Back-end developper ?

[–] [email protected] 48 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 60 points 6 months ago

... full development stack?

[–] [email protected] 44 points 6 months ago (4 children)

I'd say visibility is kinda poor

[–] [email protected] 27 points 6 months ago

Slap an Apple Vision Pro on ya face

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[–] [email protected] 40 points 6 months ago (2 children)

Risk of the buttplug falling on my face.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 6 months ago

Use some duct tape

[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 6 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 30 points 6 months ago

If I was to ever get myself into that position it's going to take 3 doctors and a voodoo priest to get me out of it.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 6 months ago

Too close to my own dick, gonna try to suck it and get distracted.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 6 months ago

An annoying lack of x-ray vision.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 6 months ago (1 children)

That wrist angle looks uncomfortable as all hell.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago

You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago

Being generally as flexible as a dry straw, not owning the cool open-toe tights, missing the ability to see through my own abdomen, and I don't use Apple products.

[–] [email protected] 19 points 6 months ago

About 200 pounds.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago (2 children)

I think it's the fact that I can't see the errors on my vagina.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

Sounds like a skill issue to me

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

Someone chose the wrong bottom surgery smh

[–] [email protected] 16 points 6 months ago (2 children)

What would enable me to work like that, is my question.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago

So this is the new Lenovo Yoga line... Nice.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago

A lifetime of sitting still mostly

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago

I prefer to type on an ergonomic keyboard thank you very much.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago

mfer goin for the self-suc

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

My hamstrings

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago

How to post to c/unixsocks

[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 10 points 6 months ago (1 children)

that would probably be a more healthy position to sit in then what i'm used to lol

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago

It's just the natural evolution of slouching

[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago
  1. I can easily bend in half and reach past my toes, but this is another ask entirely.
  2. Even if I could do this, I don't have eyes in my back or a computer screen in my knees.
[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago

probably not having enough money to replace the laptop.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

Lack of a yoga mat or you wouldn't be able to stop me 😉

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

My inflexibility

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago

I have bones

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

Even as a big fat homo, and presuming I could get into that position, I don't want to stare at my own dick all day.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

Aldready poor coding skills.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

I don't own a yoga mat

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago)

I could probably get into a similar position, but I'm not that good at touch typing so 🤷‍♂️

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

I can talk out my ass, but can't see through my ass. Common misconception.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

I like to see the screen whole coding

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago

c/fullshrimp

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

My piriformis

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