Asklemmy

I think water fasting would do you the best. There was this guy in 1965 who fasted for over a year eating nothing but some vitamins prescribed by the doctors and drinking water coffe and tea https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Angus_Barbieri%27s_fast

He apparently also only pooped every 2 months https://www.diabetes.co.uk/blog/2018/02/story-angus-barbieri-went-382-days-without-eating/

nothing to suggest but i'm absolutely fascinated by your post, op. please post results.

I have fasted for three straight days on many occasions and it was pretty easy for me. Drinking zero-calorie beverages (coffee, tea, water) should be fine. This is not professional medical advice and definitely do not do this if you are an alcoholic, diabetic, or pregnant. Once you break the fast, do so with moderation.

You doing some sort of Mr. Beast challenge?

If it's important you can easily just not eat for three days. Otherwise, there's nothing you can eat that will be safe and prevent you from pooping.

I'm imagining you shipping yourself in a crate to another country and wanting to avoid getting poo all over you 🤣

Just wanted to say I was here for this.

Good luck mailing yourself out of the country.

I've heard that Robert Zemeckis is interested in your story. He mentioned something about filming "Pooped Away"...

Im just posting so I can see my username on one of Whang's videos one day.

I don't have anything to add, I just wanna be part of this.

What the fuck?

Truly an amazing post that needs a follow-up. We wait eagerly for the results of this journey. You crazy motherfucker lmfao

Tbf, there's a difference between knowing instinctively that someone poops and being first-hand witness to the godawful stench of post-chipotle bowel movement in an area with poor air circulation (AC aside).

Crush is definitely involved though.

Define "illegal". Like, marijuana is legal for recreational use in my state. I'm looking forward to some edibles when I get home, hahah

The important first step is preparation. You need to clean the pipes. There should be nothing left inside you before you commence on the trip. So take some laxatives and do some cleaning. After you’re thoroughly pristine you must only consume a clear liquid diet, so clear juices and soft drinks (make sure you consume the full sugar version because that’s how you’ll get your energy). Take a multivitamin each day. On the second or third day take an Imodium, this is likely overkill but you won’t poop. Return to a normal diet on the third day but do so gradually over the course of a day or two. I cannot guarantee that this method will not damage your health and the risk will likely be greater if you have other health conditions, but you wont poop sooo.

Just use the MRE's you've no doubt been issued for beast week and stop complaining. Also hide your phone trainee, the MTI's are coming.

Breast milk has very few undigestible solids. Just saying.

This is the weirdest fucking thing I've seen on the Internet in a long time.

I dont have any advice. Just wanted to day I was here before the reason was revealed.

Cheese.