captainastronaut

The TSA has attempted to roll out more facial recognition in airports but has so far been blocked from doing so. Clear is stepping in to gather all that biometric data for them, in addition to the fingerprints and Iris scans they already have, and provid it to TSA directly while making a profit on the side from doing so. 

“In the near future, Clear's new facial recognition system will electronically transmit members' digital identities to TSA's second-generation Credential Authentication Technology (CAT-2) scanners, Clear says.”

https://www.cntraveler.com/story/clear-at-airport-facial-recognition

They have not received any OSHA fines, but that’s because they haven’t submitted injury data to OSHA since 2016. But now employees are starting to self-report.

I really love this Kickstarter digital photo/art frame and even though the company shut down this week, I have kept mine alive and made it work really well, better in some ways than it did before.

Here's the post on keeping the EO1 alive in zombie mode. I hope it helps someone else not throw away this cool device! https://z32guru.com/tech-projects/electric-objects-eo1-zombie-mode

I also started/hosted a community for fellow EO1 hackers to help share knowledge on how the device works. https://seattlelunarsociety.org/c/electricobjectseo1

A woman went to the emergency room, where she was seen by a young new doctor. After about 3 minutes in the examination room, the doctor told her she was pregnant.

She burst out of the room and ran down the corridor screaming.

An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was; after listening to her story, he calmed her down and sat her in another room.

Then the doctor marched down the hallway to the first doctor's room.

"Whats wrong with you?" he demanded. This woman is 63 years old, she has two grown children and several grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?!!"

The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and without looking up said:

"Does she still have the hiccups?

A cowboy walks into the bar, only to find it's empty.

Only the bartended, polishing a glass, is behind the bar.

"Where's everyone at?" Asks the cowpoke.

"At the hangin'." Bartender says.

"Hangin'?!" The cowboy asks. "Hadn't heard. Who are they stringing up?"

"The Brown Paper Kid."

"The Brown Paper Kid?"

"That's right. Wears brown paper pants, brown paper vest, even a brown paper hat." Bartender nods looking at the glass.

"Damn. Never heard of him. What's they get him for?" Asks the cowboy.

"Rustling."

Originally posted to Reddit by jonnyprophet

Two Priests decided to go to Thailand on vacation.

They were determined to make this a real vacation by not wearing anything that would identify them as Priests.

For once, they’d enjoy a vacation as regular people.

As soon as the plane landed they headed for a store and bought some really outrageous shorts, shirts, sandals, sunglasses, etc.

The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their 'tourist' garb.

They were sitting on the beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in a bikini came walking straight towards them.

They couldn't help but stare. As the blonde passed them she smiled and said 'Good morning, Father,' and 'Good morning, Father.', nodding and addressing each of them individually, then she passed on by.

They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests?

So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits.

These were so loud you could hear them before you even saw them!

Once again, in their new attire, they settled down in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine.

After a little while, the same gorgeous blonde, wearing a different colored bikini, taking her sweet time, came walking toward them.

Again she nodded at each of them, said: 'Good morning, Father,' and 'Good morning, Father.' and started to walk away.

One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said, 'Just a minute, young lady.' 'Yes, Father?' 'We are priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world do you know we are priests, dressed as we are?'

• "Father, it's me,' she replied, 'Sister Agatha!"

Originally posted to Reddit by boa_constrictor

A Viking is out shopping when he comes across an old woman in a wheelchair crying.

"What's wrong?" asks the Viking.

"Well," the woman says, wiping her tears, "I have been living on my own for many months now, and my daughter and son-in-law have at last come to visit me. My daughter has brought me along on this shopping trip, but it's the first time I've really been out and about since losing the use of my legs. It's so disheartening."

"I'm very sorry to hear that," says the Viking. "But at least your family is here! That should help to dry your tears!"

"Yes," says the old woman, "but I really wanted to get something to surprise my daughter while she is in that shop trying on clothes, and with this accursed wheelchair I can't get around like I used to.

"I was hoping to find an extra special cake or pie to celebrate their visit," she sobs. "Oh, I can't even bake my classic egg and bacon tart anymore, and I know my family always looks forward to that!"

"You're in luck then. That place over there is the finest bakery in the country!" says the Viking.

"So I hear," says the woman, "but the first floor is just breads and such. The fancy sweets and pies are all up on the second floor, and I can't get up there with my chair."

The Viking thinks for a moment and says "Not a problem. I shall carry you!"

With that, he lifts her from her wheelchair, hoists her onto his back, and trudges into to the bakery. After carrying her up the stairs and all about the display cases, he helps her bring a selection of delicious treats to the counter. She even finds her family favorite!

The Viking then carries the woman and her purchases back to her waiting chair below.

"I can't thank you enough! I'm so much happier now!" replies the old woman. "Who are you, kind sir?"

But the Viking simply smiles and walks off without a reply.

As he turns the corner out of sight, the woman's daughter appears at the bakery entrance.

"There you are, Mom!" she exclaims with relief. "I was worried sick when you weren't where I left you. What have you been doing in there?"

"Oh!" replies the woman "I've been through the desserts on a Norse with no name. It felt good to get our quiche Lorraine!"

Originally posted to Reddit by arothmanmusic

A lady lost her handbag..

It was found by an honest little boy and returned to her.

Looking in her purse, she commented, “Hmm, that’s funny. When I lost my bag there was a $20 note in it. Now there are 20 $1 coins.”

The boy replied, “That’s right, lady. The last time I found a lady’s purse, she didn’t have any change for a reward.”

Originally posted to Reddit by jflipside

The first Jewish President of the United States is elected

The night before the inauguration he calls his mother.

"Mom, I'd love for you to come visit for the inauguration and stay with me for a few days."

"Oh I don't know, airfare is so expensive these days."

"Mom, I'll fly you out on Air Force One!"

"Oh, but you know, cab fare is ridiculous."

"Mom, the Presidential motorcade will drive you here."

"But accommodations, especially during the inau---"

"MOM!! I'll put you in the Lincoln bedroom itself!!"

She reluctantly agrees, hangs up and starts talking to her friend.

"Who was that?"

"My son."

gasp "The doctor??"

No, the other one."

Originally posted to Reddit by International_Bee653

The sky was looking ominous so I asked Siri, “Surely, it’s not going to rain today?”

And she replied, “Yes it is, and don’t call me Shirley.”

That was when I realized I’d left my phone on Airplane mode.

Originally posted to Reddit by yomommafool

My uncle was taking our picture at a dairy farm in Wisconsin when he was crushed by a giant wheel of cheese.

We tried to warn him.

Originally posted to Reddit by President_Calhoun