True, true.

What we hope for: Star Trek

Where we're really headed: Mad Max

life on Earth began in caves

I thought it began in the ocean.

We carry a harpoon!

But there ain't no whales

So we tell tall tales

And sing a whaling tune!

But where did they live? Only the ones that lived in a few states actually mattered.

I've always preferred the "creates a new timeline" explanation because it nicely negates the grandfather paradox. And you're still changing the future, just the future of a different timeline.

Well, the shooter was a registered Republican.

Nah, a stormtrooper wouldn't have even been able to clip his ear.

Botanically, yes. But not in culinary usage.

Pssht!