this post was submitted on 02 May 2024
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I have a urine drug test on Tuesday morning and last smoked on Sunday

I’m not a chronic smoker or anything, but I do it recreationally (because I haven’t had to take a drug test in probably 6-7 years at this point)

Is there any hope for me to pass? Everywhere online says I’m fucked

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago (2 children)

You're fine if you can cheat but you need to cheat.

If it's the kind of urine test where they let you go into a bathroom and wait outside, you can order some synthetic urine or find some in a head shop maybe.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) (4 children)

Yup lol can’t cheat

I hate this puritanical shithole where people can be one drink away from alcohol poisoning on the clock while I lose a job for doing something on my own time

Death to America

I guess my only saving grace might be the fact that my metabolism is insane but that’s a long shot

[–] [email protected] 16 points 3 months ago

If it's not for probation I'm not sure its even legal for someone to watch you piss, while a urine pouch is probably the most sure fire route there are drinks that will purge your system of metabolites. Goto a local head shop and ask for a detoxification drink, do not say it's for a drug test or they won't sell it to you.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Make sure you pee on the outside of the cup a bit

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Or if someone is watching you, on them. If you're fucked anyway, might as well go out with a splash.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Break into the area that they have all the other samples and pee in all of them and taint them.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Best test in the West!

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I've never used real piss. Sub Solution's maker sells a belt with a small tube and a reservoir that's gravity operated which you may want to check out, the "incognito belt". I have no idea what their "spike urine additive" is meant to do but maybe that's worth checking out...

They ship overnight.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Yeah dude unless you’re on probation you can cheat. They can’t watch you pee for a work drug test. Just stuff it in your groin.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Ok so I took the test and might be alright. I had to go into a stall and empty out my pockets while the attendant waited outside the stall

My new supervisor messaged me on signal and said he’d authorize a new test if I failed this one, so any last tips?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Nothing that hasn’t been said. Buy the fake pee, keep it around if you don’t end up needing it. It works, and you just put it in your pants so it’s not in your pockets.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

I passed without cheating 😅

The high lasted for about three seconds, now I realize that I have a new shitty job :/