this post was submitted on 17 May 2024
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Food Crimes - Offenses against nutrition

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Welcome to Food Crimes! This community is here to collect all and any post about cursed food and generally unusual consumables.

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[–] [email protected] 38 points 3 months ago (4 children)

I put some peanut butter on each slice, to “waterproof” it before applying the jelly. That way, the bread doesn’t get soggy and gross.

That’s as advanced as I get with my PB&J engineering. Forget this mixing nonsense.

[–] [email protected] 14 points 3 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 3 months ago (3 children)

I've found that gets rid of the gentle softness that I'm wanting out of a PBJ.

Grilled peanut butter sandwich is great though, but jelly demands soft and cold.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 3 months ago (3 children)

I love a grilled PB+Banana. Like a grilled cheese, fried in butter. They're fantastic!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

I'm partial to a peanut butter burger, which also comes with mayonnaise and thin pickles sliced long-ways.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

Never thought to add banana.

I like to do mine a lot like a grilled cheese, so only just enough butter for it to toast. Sometimes I'll kinda flatten it a bit so all the peanut butter melts into the bread and it turns into more of a peanut butter panini pancake thing.

That last parts how my dad cooked them, so I'll admit that if it wasn't for the comfort food factor I might not rate it as high as I do.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Pretty much what killed Elvis although he did add bacon

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I feel like it's worth mentioning the "loaf of bread with a kind of bacon, a pound of peanut butter, and a pound of jelly" if we're talking about that guys poor dietary choices. Or that he would eat like, ten of them at a time with his barbiturates.

It was the constipation from the drugs that got him though, since straining is what caused his heart to stop.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Now I’m hungry

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Put 2 slices in the same side of the toaster. Then spread everything ont the toasted side. Melty goodness with soft outside.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Alright, so two slices on one side would never have occurred to me, so if nothing else thanks for that. :)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You don't have to fully toast it. The bread doesn't even have to brown. You just want to dry out the top layer a tiny bit.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I'm always down to try new things, so I'll give it a shot for breakfast or lunch.
I have doubts it'll be as squishy as I like, but I'll report back. If it's not as okay as I've been led to believe, I'll be absolutely neutral and keep eating my sandwich. Maybe say "hmm" or something.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Try using your toaster’s bagel setting if it has one to minimize the toasting of the outside (I have no dog in the fight, just something I thought about)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

That's a great idea, and I would do it, but: after I bought my toaster I realized far too late to return it that the bagel setting is a lie. It heats both sides, it's just adjusting the timer to be right for bagels. While still cooking both sides for not good reason.

It might be the angriest I've ever been at a small appliance, if you couldn't tell by my sharing this anecdote almost entirely unprompted.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Deep fried uncrustable

[–] [email protected] 11 points 3 months ago (1 children)

I just eat it faster than it gets soggy

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

You gotta let it sit on the windowsill for at least one to two weeks before eating it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Eh boo-boo, whadda you think about getting us some sandwiches.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago

Try butter first then PB then jelly. So good.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 months ago

I do this too, but I make sure one side is just a thin layer and the other side is the actual peanut butter layer.