this post was submitted on 22 May 2024
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Lifehack (file.coffee)
submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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[–] [email protected] 95 points 3 months ago (11 children)

Sure, I fantasize about doing this sort of shit with my kid sometimes too.

But you don't do it.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 3 months ago (3 children)

What, are you saying that gaslighting your young child to do stuff they hate is harmful?

[–] [email protected] 31 points 3 months ago (53 children)

I can't speak for other kids, but being honest with mine seems to work pretty well. "Why do I have to put away the dishes?" "Because if you don't, we won't be able to wash the dirty ones and then we'll get roaches. Do you want roaches? No. So put away the dishes."

[–] [email protected] 12 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, that's the tack I'm taking with mine. No sense in lying because it's not good for your relationship, and I can't be bothered to keep track of a bunch of lies.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 months ago (3 children)

I didn't even like doing Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny, but my wife insisted. I'm glad that era is over.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Feel you. I got accused by my brother in law of being some kind of psychopath for not wanting Santa in the house.

In their house, my sister is already using the threat of Christmas big brother against any minor hijinks that their kid gets up to.

I have a three year old, so unfortunately, I have another 4 years of this nonsense ahead of me.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

In their house, my sister is already using the threat of Christmas big brother against any minor hijinks that their kid gets up to.

Oof, that seems a bit much to me. Does she tell stories about the bogeymen or Baba Yaga, too? I'd rather my child be concerned with the actual consequences for their actions rather than the imagined ones

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

There's some research that says Santa, the Easter bunny, etc. are good for teaching kids skepticism. Plus it's fun. I'll often move their stuffed animals so it looks like they were doing something when the kids are asleep so they can get a little bit of magic

But, threatening with Santa is actually bad parenting because #1 it's a bit traumatic of a threat but #2 they'll figure out damn fast that you're bluffing. Never threaten a punishment you aren't prepared to dish out (and never dish out a punishment you wouldn't feel comfortable explaining to the kid as an adult)

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Yeah, it's not the very idea of Santa I'm railing against here, it's using him as a bogeyman to control behaviour.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 months ago

Yes, I agree, a terrible parenting strategy. Also fuck elf on the shelf, since the whole book is about how the elf is Santa's spy and you can't question or touch it. I'm pretty sure this is what gave her the awful idea.

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 3 months ago

I'm not sure if the term "gaslighting" fits here. This just seems like run of the mill lying and manipulating.

Victims of gaslighting are deliberately and systematically fed false information that leads them to question what they know to be true, often about themselves. They may end up doubting their memory, their perception, and even their sanity.

Gaslighting would seem like it'd be more that if they knew weekends were a thing befohand then you'd lie that they imagined it all (and that they might even be crazy for having thought that).

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