this post was submitted on 09 Jun 2024
346 points (90.6% liked)

No Stupid Questions

35913 readers
1522 users here now

No such thing. Ask away!

!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

Rules (interactive)


Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.

All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.



Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.

Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.



Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.

Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.



Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.

That's it.



Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.

Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.



Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.

Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.

On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.

If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.



Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.

If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.

Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.



Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.



Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.

Let everyone have their own content.



Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here.



Credits

Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!

The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

people have been demonizing it for most of the AD years i think but it's quite pleasant really. are there any proven negative effects?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 34 points 5 months ago (2 children)

Porn “addiction” is a misnomer because it doesn’t have much in common with drug addiction, gambling addiction, etc. Porn “addicts”, when you show them images of porn, do not have brain responses like those of addicts who are shown images of whatever they’re addicted to.

But what is a great predictor for whether or not someone will self report being a porn addict is shame. Gay men in particular are significantly more likely than straight men in general to say they’re addicted to porn. So are straight men with a heavily religious background.

Which isn’t to say that people who report porn addictions aren’t really suffering, it’s just not the same as an actual addiction and is instead the result of living in a culture telling you that your normal sexual desires are wrong.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (2 children)

I actually agree. What's addicting is the hit of dopamine from sexual release, not the porn itself. I see porn as more like how people who quit smoking often still find something to fiddle with in their hands and mouth. Biting on pencils, straws, etc. because part of their ritual of using the substance involved taking out a cigarette and putting it up to their mouth. The act of viewing porn itself isn't the addiction, but it's associated with it.

Like I said, moderation is key, because there's a wide difference between masturbating a healthy amount and filling various cumjugs with figurines in them. Like if you can go out and live a normal life after jerking it, awesome, fuck yeah, that's great. If you can't make it through a workday without going to the bathroom to crank it, maybe you've got a fucking problem. I shouldn't have to deal with some fucking weirdo breathing heavily and shaking the whole stall next to me in the bathroom because they can't wait until they get home.

The porn is rather a social knock-on effect because people often seek out porn to make the pathway to dopamine release easier. The seeking of the orgasm has almost nothing to do with the societal implications of porn and its impact on relationships. However, the social impact is that people begin to associate unhealthy aspects of porn with a sex life and achieving orgasm in a sex life.

There are unfortunately deep layers of exploitation, unhealthy power dynamics, and control in porn that can be healthy between consenting adults who have achieved trust but some people really start digesting this porn before they're mature enough to know how to healthily navigate those issues (especially in a society that sure as fuck isn't teaching them, because of the aforementioned religious demonization of sex). This leads to further unhealthy experiences with sex, and I don't think the gay (and LGBTQ+ community as a whole for that matter) community is free from that exploitation or people being exposed to it before they've had to education to navigate it healthily either. In fact, as a minority group, I would rather think they're more likely to be exploited by the same people who hate their very existence... which further ingrains and exacerbates the very problems I'm speaking to, because the exploitation aspect of pornography is normalized. The areas that consume the most LGBT themed porn tend to be the most religiously restricted, and their viewpoint of that porn is almost 100% exploitative. To me it's a hard sell that that's not somehow a net negative for the LGBT community and that they're mostly being exploited in pornograhy and in sex work by the very people who want to demonize their very existence.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 5 months ago (1 children)

The feeling of chasing that high, which scientists can show physical evidence of through brain imaging, isn’t present in people who self report porn addiction. What they’re calling addiction is frequently just enjoying masturbation, which they feel shame about, and that any amount is too much. If what people are self reporting as porn addiction neurologically doesn’t behave as an addiction, then therapies for addiction are not going to be evidence based treatments.

The people you’re talking about with cum jars often don’t even see their behavior as a problem, much less labeling themselves addicts. The overlap of the circles of people who masturbate in public and those that call themselves porn addicts is near zero. Calling all of that porn addiction is basically lumping all problematic sexual behavior together with people who think they’re part of that group because they look at porn and masturbate.

The professionals that treat porn addiction are also for the most part members of religious organizations that promote religious based solutions, which also doesn’t really offer much evidence against the idea that porn “addiction” is religious based shame.

The porn industry itself being exploitative of the workers is a completely different conversation than someone being “addicted” to porn.

I get that anyone who says they have a porn addiction isn’t having a good time. But we can’t ignore that there is a huge industry of religious quackery that is more than happy to take your money and tell you that you’re oh so sick, just as your shame and guilt tell you.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

I want you to go back and re-read both of my posts and tell me where I said the words "porn addiction" or alluded to porn being the addiction. I'm trying to work with you here buddy, but you've decided that I'm saying something I haven't said, after I took the time to clearly explain as much.

I literally am not talking about porn addiction nor have I used the words porn addiction, so can you take your crusade elsewhere, please and thank you.

The people you’re talking about with cum jars often don’t even see their behavior as a problem, much less labeling themselves addicts.

Literally what I am talking about and why I didn't use the term porn addiction.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago (1 children)

I’m sorry, I guess I don’t understand why you’re talking about addictions and how that relates to dopamine in your first comment if you’re not talking about porn addiction. I’m not using quotes around porn addiction to directly quote you, I’m using them because I don’t believe porn addiction is a real thing.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

how that relates to dopamine in your first comment if you’re not talking about porn addiction

Dude, we're literally talking about how orgasms release dopamine. What the fuck are you smoking? I'm literally talking about the orgasm itself!

Fucking reading comprehension is dead.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

If your problem is specifically me using the word porn when you’re talking about masturbation more generally, with or without porn, does it help to add the context that “porn addiction” is used interchangeably by these groups with “masturbation addiction”? I’m not really sure where this is breaking down.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

I’m not really sure where this is breaking down.

Phrases like "couple this with" from this sentence from my first comment are how I'm breaking it down. The meaning of this is "in addition to" not "these are equals." I'm sorry you've not managed to read the context words I added specifically for this purpose.

Couple this with how incredibly unhealthy the social relationships portrayed in most pornography are, and you’re gearing up for a lot of young men addicted to wanking and having unrealistic expectations of sex.

From my second comment:

The porn is rather a social knock-on effect because people often seek out porn to make the pathway to dopamine release easier.

Because it's true that people use shortcuts to cumming, like porn.

I reiterate, reading comprehension is dead.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Dude, I’ve tried engaging with you politely on this and elaborating on each thing I was saying. If you’re married to the idea of masturbation addiction being real despite the scientific evidence for it being incredibly weak and the “treatment” being bankrolled by religious groups, knock yourself out.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Ima be real with you.

Arguing all masturbation is inherently good isn't any better or morally superior than arguing all masturbation is inherently bad. Extremism is extremism and literally all I was talking about was moderation. If you can't handle someone arguing moderation, it sounds like maybe you really do have a problem.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Lmao, I’m at a stage of my life and on the types of medications that would make wanting to masturbate a lot a welcome change.

Masturbation (in private obviously) is a neutral act. Anyone trying to characterize it as inherently good or bad is suspect. Anyone trying to sell you a cure for something mainstream society tells you is shameful, doubly so.

[–] [email protected] -1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (1 children)

Anyone trying to sell you a cure for something mainstream society tells you is shameful, doubly so.

Trumpers really took this one and ran with it during COVID with not masking and spitting in people's faces.

They literally want to hang the people who tried to sell them a cure for something mainstream society told them was shameful, a disease they decided was a "librul hoax."

...because guess the fuck what? They were actually, genuinely, acting shamefully. Too bad they had no shame.

I don't think this as strong of an argument than you think it is. Sometimes mainstream society can be right about an act being shameful.

[–] [email protected] 0 points 5 months ago

I’ve said my piece, you just seem to want to be mad. Peace. ✌️

[–] [email protected] 2 points 5 months ago

What it seems you're describing is how nymphomania manifests in people without a partner. Nymphomania and porn addiction are two different things. Likewise I don't think nymphomania necessarily has the same underlying causes as say a drug addiction, it might be something like a hormonal issue. Hard to know without doing more research.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 months ago

I, we all rather, are "addicted" to air, water, food, shelter, safety, rest, etc. - which as you say isn't the same as a true "addiction" at all. Wanting things that produce a healthy life is not a bad thing, and in fact quite the opposite. To the extent that religion or culture or whatever encourages the opposite (rather than e.g. moderation and consideration, like mindfulness), it is wrong and bad. Even for someone who believes in a God who is good, those false beliefs need to be cast aside, bc they hinder us from living well. I wish I had discovered this earlier in life.:-D