I feel like I always resisted the path put out for you because I knew my family was dysfunctional and I liked the arts, so being a normie was always off the table, but I also hated being poor. I feel like I stride a pretty fine line in my adult life. I am becoming a pretty good drummer and I have a decent job.

Somehow I think I got it to work, we'll see. I try not to let myself frame my life as stuck at any point. I've seen many times where I thought my life was over but it wasn't and it got better. It definitely takes some effort though. It also takes doing things you dont want to do and a degree of faith which I think many people have a hard time applying in their life.

The more i get what i want out of life (least amount of work for the most money, more play, more arts, more free time) the more liberated I feel. The world sucks and is wrong, why would I entertain anything it explicitly wants me to do.