this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2024
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Even eHarmony was better than simply saying who was single. The entire concept of "dating apps" is good for hookups, but terrible for dating.
It definitely doesn't work for me
Idk, meeting an absolute stranger that you texted with for a day or so with the pressure and expectation of romance just sounds like a recipe for failure.
Starting a romance with someone you already have some history with or share a community with seems more plausible. I used to click with someone and then immediately run home to find out if they were available or not so I could find out if it was safe to develop a crush.
How was eHarmony different that tinder or bumble? I never used it.
eHarmony had you take a huge personality test and then they'd match you against people all across the country that their algorithm said you were compatible with. It was pretty depressing when you'd spend 2 hours talking a test and eHarmony would be like "sorry, there's not a single match for you in the entire country". But that was because their system didn't run very fast, and matches would start trickling in over the next few days.
I'm mostly thinking about before the days of "swipe right/swipe left" but you put in information about your personality and you got recommendations based on that.
It wasn't so frantic or based on getting every match you could get, it was about getting matches that were most likely to click with you.
On my brief 4-6 month career on Tinder many years ago, one of the only "successful" dates was someone who was trying to force it as much as possible. In their defense though, I feel like the apps encourage this.
It was here I learned that it was a huge turn-off for me and that I prefer to meet people organically.
Exactly this… I used those swipey apps for a few years. Went on lots of dates. Had a few I could’ve taken further. Had a few I wanted to go further. It all was pretty shallow though.
Eventually, I just went with someone I actually had known for years.
It works for some people. I'm glad I'm in a good relationship and don't need to deal with that stuff but I also have a friend who met various women through the apps for a period until he met a certain special one, you could see it in him that week. And now years later they're happily married.
Craigslist personals were actually ok before they shut them down due to sex worker spam.