Mental Health

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Need to get things out of my chest (lemmy.world)

submitted 1 year ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

7 comments fedilink hide all child comments

Hello. I'm going through a rough period and I need to take some things of my chest. I am a trauma survivor diagnosed with CPTSD. Although professionally and financially I am fairly successful, I am a deeply unhappy person.

My condition stems from a history of neglect and abuse from my family along from bullying at school. I always lacked someone to talk about my problems, so I grew up without a safe person to talk about my problems. I am not very social and I prefer solitude. I was born from a poor family in a 3rd world country. My life has always been about survival and trying to "get out of the hole". I eventually immigrated to a 1st world country and found my financial stability. I made my career the focus of my life. It works for me most of the time.

Recently I got laid off, so that impacted my mental health. Although I dislike this job and I was considering leaving, I cannot shake off the feelings that "I'm not enough". My work is not good these days. I am just counting the days before my termination becomes effective. Every time I make a mistake I beat myself up, I hear the much hated voice of my father pointing out the errors.

I know I am going through a rough patch and that eventually things will get better, but every day is uphill. I am fortunate that through therapy I have learned ways to ground myself and not let my negativity consume me, but it is painful.

Thanks for creating this space to share. All the best to those who struggle with mental health issues.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Hi there, Please be kind to yourself. How could you do your best at a job that has laid you off? Even if you were planning on leaving, an unexpected layoff is disheartening. And, it is going to trigger old thoughts of not feeling good enough. People are allowed to make mistakes and allowed to dislike their jobs, yet it doesn't make them any less valuable, likeable or enough. If you had a friend in your position, what would you say to them? Don't speak to yourself any differently. You have survived so much and will get through this. You just need some extra kindness towards yourself.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Thank you for your kind words and for your encouragement. You are correct in that I need to be kinder to myself. This is a habit I have always struggled to build, but it is true. Times like these are when I need to work on these skills.

May the sun always shine on your path.