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Is the polyam community at large feeling more ethical or less ethical to you lately? (hexbear.net)

submitted 3 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I haven't been polyam long enough to really form a strong historical opinion on this so I'm curious what Hexbears think.

Basically what I'm asking is; do folks in the polyamory community overall feel more ethical or less ethical these days, knowing there is a huge influx of people new to the community due to polyamory becoming a more culturally accepted thing in Western culture and media?

Basically I see lots of new people in the last year or two who "saw it on tv and wanted to try it. " Some of them no doubt are doing it ethically where others are clearly polybombing their partner as an excuse to cheat. So it's been tough to form an opinion on if polyamory in the media is helping or hurting the community at large.

Curious what others think.

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[–] [email protected] 15 points 3 months ago (2 children)

See, I used to live in an area with a big polyamory community. Most of us were gay or trans or both. Befriending just one person led you to a whole group of entanglement. Swiping with poly people on tinder led me to people I didn't know yet, but maybe I knew their partners or friends of partners or some other entanglement. They were like my found family. I really miss them all.

I moved to a brand new area, and started swiping. I put that I'm poly in my profile. I swiped on some potato who said they were poly. I figured that was my way into find some group. I met the potato, and their partner carrot shows up in the middle. They leave together. Potato blocks me. Carrot starts interviewing me on another platform I had never even giving to potato. Like dang, I didn't know it was like that. That interaction freaked me out and I haven't been talking to anyone since.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 months ago

Does potato and carrot mean something other than nomme-de-poly here?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 3 months ago

Yeah the top paragraph is how the communities I'm part of are. That's how polyamory should be j think. The bottom paragraph are the unethical folks that really should just go crawl under a rock. I'm sorry you're dealing with folks like that