this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2024
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For example, I once saw a man throw his hat down in anger. He didn't stomp on it which was kind of a let down.

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[–] [email protected] 45 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I was walking through the city, watched as a man in a suit in front of me (I was walking behind him for a couple of blocks) picked up a briefcase beside a newsstand and got in the passenger seat of a waiting black car which drove off.

I'm in a spy movie, I guess.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 months ago (2 children)

In the 1960s the CIA used to leave instructions for their agents inside the buttholes of dead pidgeons.

Their logic was that ANYONE could pick up a random briefcase, but who's going to pick up a dead bird.

They stopped doing it when some guy picked up the dead bird. The CIA thought a russian spy figured things out. Nope. Turns out they followed the guy, and did survielance on him for roughly an hour, as they gathered intel on how dangerous this guy was. They found no criminal background. So they stormed the house with armed guards. They found the dead pidgeons butthole covered in semen. The guy had no clue he just picked up government secrets.

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 months ago (1 children)

You MF. You were telling the truth about the pigeon sex story. And you didn't even tell me!

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 months ago (2 children)

I mean.....I directly said this was the case.

There's also a post in my recent history where I asked if anyone wanted to put my hot dog in their mouth, and posted a picture of my gooey covered weiner. It got many downvotes.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Why do I even internet?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 months ago

Well I should HOPE nobody puts it in their pocket! Then it would get all linty, and you couldn't enjoy the meaty salty flavor in your mouth, as it squirts it's gooey topping down your throat.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Goodness! I hope he didn't get a papercut from those instructions.