this post was submitted on 27 Aug 2024
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Dude I’m so sorry.
If it’s any consolation those absences probably mean shit is hitting the fan for a few staff behind the scenes over this fiasco, and the power trips are just her pettily taking that out on you. Classic HR behaviour. But it really doesn’t help the lasting effect you’re experiencing.
Btw the rage is incredibly normal in the circumstances and along with the rest may be a symptom of ptsd. I’m really hoping one day you can get well away from these incompetent chucklefucks because what you’re going through is so difficult.
I’m wondering if (for now) you can jam a chair under the door handle for extra reinforcement or warning, put metal pots that would topple making noise, and keep an uncapped can of oven cleaner spray handy?
At least then it would be a more specific sound heralding trouble so you might feel less jumpy at smaller noises, and you would have something to grab if you felt threatened. Whatever helps.
Edit: Even just a firm door wedge or a temporary lock might be some protection, delay, or help alert you.
You can even improvise with a fork which isn’t perfect but is something that can be done fairly quickly short term to give some early warning.
Ps. I hope this unsolicited advice isn’t stressing you out worse or making you angry. It’s a bad habit of mine. Just hoping there might be some comfort or something workable in there.
Thanks Melba. You're probably right, at least I kind of hope someone's copping it. But I doubt it. I think everyone's gotten off mostly scott free, because the program manager, and area manager were on leave, and the "case management practitioner supervisor" had been sacked. And of course, nobody ever wants to rock the boat when in an interim role, so I think child protection exploited that as well, I've seen it happen before so it wouldn't be unsurprising
There's just 198 days until I turn 18, and then these people don't really have a say in my life. However, I will likely still live here anywhere between an extra 6 months and year after I turn 18, although then I'll have even less recourse in such situations
I can jam things in the door, but I'm not sure it's really worth it. I already know that there's nobody either in the house or my room, it's just trying to teach my brain to comprehend that at 2:30 in the morning that's an issue.
I don't have oven cleaner, but always have something I know how to improvise with in case of self defence. I don't keep a knife in my room anymore, because that does seem a little OTT and paranoid, but there's always something. I also got a bright torch off Amazon (technically we're meant to have one of those giant ones in the evacuation kit, but the last one was noticed to be completely corroded and smashed about 6 months ago, and they've yet to replace it). It has a strobing function, which might be useful, although I do wonder about the effectiveness of them.
If the new doors and frames do result in shitty locks, I'll probably have to figure out how to install one myself. That's probably a rather bad idea, so I'll definitely have to see what happens next before I do anything like that, but it's a possibility I have shoved away in the back of my mind if it's ever as bad as it was again
Also probably worth noting: I have security cameras all over the property, and as of today, there's now proper ones with a UPS as well. It is technically possible to get into the house by breaking into the neighbours backyard, then jumping the side fence, then shimmeying a window up, but it doesn't seem super likely. So I'll always have advanced notice if he returns
And no, absolutely not. I appreciate the advice and suggestions
These organisations are all about saving face but I suspect at least some manure is flying behind the scenes.
And yeah, I totally get it.