this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2024
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I know someone who's husband would go to taco bell in secret and she would see the charge alerts on her phone.
Why his his bank account logged into her phone? Are joint bank accounts really a thing, or are the wife and I the weird ones for keeping our finances separate?
My wife and I keep our finances separate too.
Except we both send money to an account that's in my name offsetting the mortgage on the house that's in my name too. My wife wants access to this account because she's worried if I die the bank will make it hard to get at the cash since it's offset and joint savings all in one.
Not to mention we don't have wills and she's been pushing for that for a few years.
The more I think about it, she might be planning on killing me haha
Your wife is basically paying you rent, she should be worried about something happening to you. You're married, just put her on the title of the house.
I'm not on the title of her house either though
Well that's new information. My marriage works very differently to yours so I can't provide any advice
Or, ya know, she just doesn't wanna be homeless.
Nah she has a house too she would get the house being married and all
Just being pragmatic, nothing to say you won't die 5 minutes from now, which makes putting it off irresponsible at best.
All our accounts are totally joint and wife and I carry basically the same credit cards. No reason to be separate IMO. Only need one check book that way and I can pay all the bills for all the cards in one place.
What if one one of you wants to make an expensive purchase? The wife and I avoid a lot of arguments when we can't tell each other how to spend our own money. If I want to build a new PC? No problem! She wants to spend $500 on skincare products? Go for it.
Some couples see the money they earn as part of the whole, there is no my money and their money. It can make sense for some for sure, in my relationship its easier to just have our money, and it doesnt really matter where it comes from.
We also expect large purchases to be discussed first, outside of like presents and surprises of course.
Expensive is pretty subjective. Anything less than about $200 no discussion required. Above that, we usually have a courtesy conversation. We've never had a hard no spending if one of us really wants or needs something, but a required justification or notice prevents impulse buys.
Joint also doesn't mean you can't have an account (or a bucket or a tally) where you save for something you want, it just means it's not a secret.
Well if you have kids and/or need to budget as a household you kind of need to work together a bit to maintain that budget.
For my spouse and I there is no "my money" and "their money". It is all our money.
If one of us wants to make a big purchase we have a conversation about it something like, "I've had my eye on a new graphics card. What do you think?" Then it goes either, "That's great. Have fun." Or, "Don't forget we have little Jimmy's orthodontist bill coming up." "Oh, yeah, thanks for reminding me. Maybe later, then."
I realize this isn't the norm and it took us a long time to get there. Many couples, my spouse's parents among them, argue over money and use it as part of a power play. We still have separate accounts for budgeting purposes, and around the holidays we have to be honest not to peek at bank statements and spoil surprises. But not having to worry whether you spouse is messing up your eventual retirement or little Jimmy's college fund sure makes life a whole lot easier for me.
We just discuss these things and come to some sort of agreement.
my wife and I are joint, just easier that way. what surprises me more is that someone would set up alerts for the low expense levels that would be triggered by Taco bell.
I don't really understand why folks would do separate it just seems like more trouble for no benefit unless there has been a specific reason or issues to trigger that.
(for example my dad and stepmom had separate accounts after she spent so much one Christmas that I had to pay their rent)
I've had banking apps that sent you a notification when something was charged from the account. Helps keep track of the money since there's some automatic charges.
Low expense at Taco Bell? Ha! You must not have been there since the 90s!
They're a thing
My wife doesn't work so it's all joint
Are you joking? Of course they are a thing lol
We have joint and personal accounts.
Joint account for bills, if anything were to happen to me I would like her to be able to pay bills, or even see they exist to cancel them.
Joint account for salary deposit and a joint savings on it for covering our 3 months of bills.
Personal account for discretionary spending, each month we put some pocket money in each of our personal account to blow on beer/taco bell/whatever.
You're not the weird ones. I used to have joint accounts with my then-wife, but I'll never do that again. Mainly because I will never marry again (ridiculous concept if you ask me - the government charging you money so that they can approve your relationship is bananas to me, and then paying them more to dissolve it if it doesn't work out), but also because I haven't met many people out there who manage their own money well, so why would I ever put them in a position of control over the money I earn?