this post was submitted on 10 Sep 2024
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I know I'm not built to have kids, when I see them on the train and feel a visceral disgust for them, their disrespect, and their immature brains. I'm sure they will grow up to be fine, but kids are so disrespectful on PT.
Kudos to anyone who has raised/is raising kids, but that clusterfuck ain't for me.
Edit: thinking about it, it may be due to the intense, abusive bullying I was subject to in school, and now I entirely distrust every child over 10 and under 18. Hm. Trauma is certainly pervasive in my life and affects my attitude.
Controversial take, but I hold so much space for kids in that age range. Being a teen/tween fucking sucks. School (feels at the time like it) sucks. Puberty sucks. Bullying sucks. Coming from a poor family or shitty home dynamic sucks. Not sleeping properly and getting up early for public transport to school sucks.
So, fuck yeah, do your TikTok dances, listen to music on speakerphone, drink your huge Slurpee, and take up a seat instead of giving it up to an adult that has probably sat on a wheelie chair all day. Just do your best.
I do agree with this, the world is shit and the kids will cop the brunt of it when we're dead. I love their silly trends and dances tbh. Have fun in the dark world.
I think it's a me problem 100%. On some level possibly resentful(?) because they're generally in groups of friends, which I lacked. But it's not their fault, and I know better than to lose my shit when I realise my feelings are my own, and that I'm just making generalisations about persons I don't know.
Hopefully I didn't come across as invalidating how you feel! I think it has taken work on my side to think this way.
I think I have the same initial reaction due to bullying, with a particular distaste for teenage girls. But I can attest to the fact that not all kids are disrespectful on PT. Last time I went into the CBD on a train I got on at the same time as a group of school boys. I was prepared for noise and rumbunctiousness, but instead got to over hear them earnestly discussing how to determine when the train had reached the appropriate level of crowding that they should stand up and leave their seats for adults to sit down ๐คฃ
That's so good. ๐๐๐ That gave me a proper chuckle hahah
And yeah I think it's just my initial reaction but my second thought is that they're fine/most kids are good. I hate when they run in front of me, but also I remember being that age and either not having awareness of my surroundings or feeling particularly rebellious.
I feel pretty much the same, despite the fact I'm still a child. There's honestly a little bit of fear every time a large group gets on my bus/train/tram, and I avoid travelling at school times when at all possible. A group of two dozen 12 years olds vaping and trying to start a brawl on a bus is not fun
On a similar note, I did not use the school toilets a single time between grades 3 and year 10. Fucking traumatic, and a large part of the reason I seek out unisex/single person toilets with proper walls, or a quieter one with multiple stalls when possible
School bathrooms were utterly atrocious in the 2000s, and they still are.
When I was a kid, I intensely disliked being around other kids. School was fucked, the only people i liked were the teachers. The kids didn't like me either, and I think latched on to any visual oddity to bully me, but I think they knew I was different. Not special or anything, but had experienced trauma in ways they had not, and I was different bc of that.
It took me 20 years to understand why I hated going to Nan and Pops (mum's parents. Thanks repressed memories), and bc that trauma happened so young, I knew things other kids didn't.
Like I said, I'm not special or superior bc of trauma. But it does change a child. There's something about traumatised children that is obvious to other kids, but they cannot articulate it.
Bathrooms are the worst. I want to throw up with anxiety when I have to use the flinders bathrooms. And pub bathrooms scare me as well.