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Do Catholics actually expect and receive people’s honest list of sins during confessions? How does that even work? (hexbear.net)

submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Dear father. It has been a year since my last confession. Since then, I have

Lied to my boss 300 times
Disrespected my parents 12 times
Got into arguments with my wife 56 times
Masturbated 4,530 times
Murdered trillions of children 4,530 times
Called God’s name in vain 5,900 times
Became nihilistic 40 times
Participated in 95 gooning sessions
Stolen from work 500 times
Imagined my wife being naked 600 times

And I ask for forgiveness for any sins that I’ve forgotten to mention today.

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[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 months ago

Just tell him about some hot orgy you went to with detail about the fun you had, and how much you enjoyed it and can't wait to go back soon. Probably will get jealous or ask for videos.