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Chat, is it creepy to have a totally unjustified crush (hexbear.net)

submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I'm not sure I should start this conversation and I've been rewriting this a lot lol. But I could use some relating and opinions from fellow internet leftists

Ok so, to keep it really simple: I happened to share a meal with somebody I really liked. I have interacted casually (no flirting) for about a dozen minutes total and we exchanged contact because of shared-interests (not dating)

Now my brain is fried

I'm thinking about her way too much and it gives be bad vibes, she probably has no idea and I can't imagine the sheer horror of realising that someone is thinking this much about you after so little interaction.

I want to be a well-behaved straight (kinda bi but that's beyond the point) guy, I'm trying to be an ally to the feminist cause, so, failing this spectacularly at behaving normally in relation to women disgust me. I know I can't remove the patriarchy from my body but I damn wish I could.

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

If you try to pursue a platonic friendship with someone you are crushing on, that has the potential to turn quite ugly, speaking from experience. Obvs you know the situation better than me, but one might say that carrying on like that is even dishonest/unfair to both parties. It will be way harder to salvage a friendship if this comes out later on, when you both know you've been continuing under false pretenses.

As for appropriateness, there's nothing weird or creepy about asking someone out! You can even lampshade the awkwardness it if needs be. You're making out that boundaries were set when you spoke with her. Is that true? Because asking her out is how you give her a chance to set those boundaries.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 months ago

Okay I'll consider, thanks for the wisdom comrade Care-Comrade