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Chat, is it creepy to have a totally unjustified crush (hexbear.net)

submitted 2 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I'm not sure I should start this conversation and I've been rewriting this a lot lol. But I could use some relating and opinions from fellow internet leftists

Ok so, to keep it really simple: I happened to share a meal with somebody I really liked. I have interacted casually (no flirting) for about a dozen minutes total and we exchanged contact because of shared-interests (not dating)

Now my brain is fried

I'm thinking about her way too much and it gives be bad vibes, she probably has no idea and I can't imagine the sheer horror of realising that someone is thinking this much about you after so little interaction.

I want to be a well-behaved straight (kinda bi but that's beyond the point) guy, I'm trying to be an ally to the feminist cause, so, failing this spectacularly at behaving normally in relation to women disgust me. I know I can't remove the patriarchy from my body but I damn wish I could.

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[–] [email protected] 14 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

It’s called an infatuation or limerence. It has nothing to do with patriarchy or feminism lol. You can’t control who you like. Self control is more important. If you like her, great. But if you don’t think it’s appropriate, then don’t do anything. Take her down the pedestal. It’s healthy to have a short term infatuation, but when it destroys your soul and mental well being, then that’s a problem.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 months ago

It’s called an infatuation or limerence. It has nothing to do with patriarchy or feminism lol.

I really thought it would have something to do with r**e culture or something. Like, is there something in our education that pushes us to appropriate women with our throughts and desires without any form of consent? I mean, of course one doesn't have to literally say yes to inhabit your inland empire, but maybe she should at least be part of your life, not just a one-time meeting, so that at least she knows she's got a place in your brain even if she never knows exactly which, see what I mean?

And yeah know women can be obsessive creeps too but it's like everything else, not because they're women they're always at the vanguard of the struggle against patriarchy