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Anyone have BPD or date anyone with it? (hexbear.net)

submitted 3 years ago* (last edited 3 years ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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so i’m dating a girl, and last night she mentioned she had BPD. i didn’t think much of it, i wasn’t familiar with it. i just started doing research and went to reddit (maybe a big mistake) just to see what ‘real life’ people were saying about it. it’s /r/BPDlovedones and it’s basically victims of people who have dated someone with BPD...

it’s currently scaring the shit out of me and kind of making me have a panic attack. there was a post saying “Any advice for someone starting to date a person with BPD?” and literally everyone said “Don’t. they’ll ruin your life. the person they are now is not who they really are. they change themselves to adjust to your personality” and it all the basic patterns align with what i’m experiencing. it’s very scary. i don’t know what to do.

edit: yeah it’s just shitty non-BPD being very hateful and resentful. very insensitive, kinda dramatic. anyway

i know reddit is infamous for having these ‘victim’ groups who hate on a certain type of people who ruined their lives, and it feels very dehumanizing. i don’t think it is impossible to date this person and i don’t want to just stop seeing them. i don’t know what to do tbh. just very overwhelmed

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 years ago

Do not read "walking on eggshells". It's basically the Bible of doing shitty things to people with BPD.

I had a very bad experience with a borderline - she stalks me across the Internet and posts all kinds of lies and half truths to paint me as an insanely horribke person. But equally out relationship was a horrible co-dependency mess of love and hate that dragged on longer than it should because no one would end it. However that was a mutual issue because we both had mental health issues that didn't mesh.

As long as you communicate openly with a borderline partner and explain your anxieties or emotions and make an effort to understand them (I highly recommend anything by Dr Marsha Linehan - she's a doctor who has BPD herself and basically revolutionised how it's approached by clinicians). I had a very bad experience but trust me if I can still vouch that good relationships with BPD sufferers are very possible and very rewarding as long as you're prepared to make a little bit of effort in communication. That's all it takes.

Now I'm gonna have to message a mod because my ex will likely see this and either comment with nonsense and inspect-element screen caps or try and get me banned from here.