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Anyone have BPD or date anyone with it? (hexbear.net)

submitted 3 years ago* (last edited 3 years ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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so i’m dating a girl, and last night she mentioned she had BPD. i didn’t think much of it, i wasn’t familiar with it. i just started doing research and went to reddit (maybe a big mistake) just to see what ‘real life’ people were saying about it. it’s /r/BPDlovedones and it’s basically victims of people who have dated someone with BPD...

it’s currently scaring the shit out of me and kind of making me have a panic attack. there was a post saying “Any advice for someone starting to date a person with BPD?” and literally everyone said “Don’t. they’ll ruin your life. the person they are now is not who they really are. they change themselves to adjust to your personality” and it all the basic patterns align with what i’m experiencing. it’s very scary. i don’t know what to do.

edit: yeah it’s just shitty non-BPD being very hateful and resentful. very insensitive, kinda dramatic. anyway

i know reddit is infamous for having these ‘victim’ groups who hate on a certain type of people who ruined their lives, and it feels very dehumanizing. i don’t think it is impossible to date this person and i don’t want to just stop seeing them. i don’t know what to do tbh. just very overwhelmed

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 years ago

BPD sucks to have, and it sucks to deal with in a loved one.

However, it’s important to keep in mind that all people are different. BPD traits exist on a spectrum like all personality disorders (or all personality traits, really)

I would not break up with her just because she has BPD, that would be shitty. But if she is mistreating you, or if you just can’t deal with her mood swings or whatever, it’s fine to look out for yourself and do what’s right for your happiness.

Other people have mentioned DBT therapy, and it really can be life changing for people who suffer from BPD so it’s worth looking into.