Ask Lemmy
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That giving of yourself and being discerning, you could make sure to find balanced relationships.
People lie, to you and to themselves. Everyone wants to say they're going to be their best person when times are tough. Reality can be quite different when the pain kicks in or dynamics change.
But at this point after countless emergencies while being the one to stand up in the end to carry the sisyphean boulders, the truth is people are going to stand back in a panic when shit hits the fan and I'm going to be the one to figure things out.
Best compromise I have settled on is surrounding myself with people who will help when I ask. It's up to me to ask, plan, and keep all our heads above water, which is exausting, but they won't blow me off.
It's the best I have been able to find of the available optional combination of traits in people i find attractive. ๐