this post was submitted on 24 Oct 2024
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[–] [email protected] 50 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

We have this ridiculous system at my work. Knives are prohibited, but get through all the time, tape measures and water bottles really piss it off though.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 2 weeks ago (3 children)

Why are you stabbing each other instead of being productive? Had anyone asked this? Is it the oppressive work environment?

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 weeks ago

He works at the knife factory

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 weeks ago

Haha you sound like the type who would bring a water bottle to a tape measure fight

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 weeks ago

You're making the wrong questions here.

How can we use AI to stop or improve the stabbings? This is what get you a raise nowadays

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago (2 children)

Knives are prohibited

It's political correctness gone mad. Who doesn't want to take a machete to work with them?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 weeks ago

"Now you see, my boss allows the knives because he's not a woke. The reason your office doesn't want you to have the knives is because the knives give off natural ALPHA digital testosterone signals, especially colloidal silver knives made from gold. These ALPHA signals interrupt the 5G signal in the office chairs at your work. The chairs use the 5G to send wireless vaccines directly into your genitals and that can make you all trans DEI CRTS! This is why my boss, who's also the local county republican chapter president, has to hand inspect all of our genitals (and out children's) when we enter or leave the office each day. To make sure that rogue signals didn't get us. Careful out there snowflake."

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I wanna show off my new blades so my coworkers can see how cool it is

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 weeks ago

Knives are prohibited

Tru fax, I am never working where you do, ever, so long as I live. I'd melt like the Wicked Witch of the West, I'm sure.