this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2024
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I will preface this by saying: this is nothing to do with the YanKKKoid election.

Anyway, I don't know...I'm just so tired all the time, I feel like I've been defeated by this shitty system.

I did everything our elders told us to do (got two good degrees, learned several skills outside of it etc), and after a while of being humiliated, degraded and talked down at by people at the local unemployment office, then finding a way to get money again...I just can't anymore. Things that used to make me feel happy don't anymore, I've all but stopped even trying to have a social or love life after like 2 years of having barely any money (I've probably been without a love life for at least 5-6 idk anymore shrug-outta-hecks ).

And despite what the chuds say, it doesn't even feel fulfilling to work, knowing that unemployment is right around the corner at any moment for whatever reason. It's also compounded by everything just getting more expensive, and all of my family always putting me down for making bad choices etc sadness

idk how anyone finds the energy to do all the proper "life" stuff anymore, it's all so exhausting.

Am I making any sense at all? kitty-birthday-sad

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Yes. I've got nothing and I'm resigned to the fact I'll never have anything. After years of cancer treatment that caused me to have a stroke, which has left me partially sighted and unable to walk properly, I was no longer able to work or study, and now spend my life going through endless disability benefit claims and appeals (because they reassess me stupidly frequently), scavenging for food and on the brink of homelessness while going through these appeals. Due to my illness I lost any chance of a normal life, no career, no family. I consider myself ace but I could still have had a family of my own. Now due to my health it's too late. I can barely look after myself anyway. My friends all drifted away as my illness wore on and I was no longer able to go out much, so I have absolutely no social life whatsoever. Due to lack of funds I can't even do simple things like rent films I want to see on amazon. I've accepted that my life is pointless, meaningless and miserable. But why does the government have to make it worse with these endless benefit assessments? The constant poverty is the one thing I can't accept. I'm just eaten up with anxiety about it all the time.
The only way I get through life is living in a fantasy world most of the time. I've built up this elaborate fantasy life in my head where I'm healthy and happy, surrounded by friends and having a great time with no financial worries. In these daydreams I go surfing and skydiving, have the best mates ever and am full of joy and life, everything is always sunny and I'm always young. The only way I can cope with reality is by imagining it away.