this post was submitted on 18 Nov 2024
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[–] [email protected] 120 points 1 day ago (3 children)

Me: We haven't evolved much in 800 thousand years. Can you please make me stop craving sugar?

Brain: Do drugs, get mad for no reason

Me: what

Brain: Here's a dream about having sex with Barney the Dinosaur

[–] [email protected] 35 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 32 points 1 day ago

Et tu, Barney?

[–] [email protected] 18 points 1 day ago (1 children)

As if my brain would let me sleep. We have minor social faux pas from 15 years ago that we need to review again.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 22 hours ago

Fight or flight response activated!

But the danger is gone, what do you want me to d-

FIGHT OR FLIGHT THIS IS HAPPENING RIGHT NOW

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 day ago (1 children)

🎼 Barney is a dinosaur for your ejaculation, and when he’s tall he’s what we call an orgasmic sensation

[–] [email protected] 2 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Thanks brain!

Hey can you let me forget that cringey thing I did at summer camp? I'm in agony and it's been thirty years

[–] [email protected] 2 points 19 hours ago

I'm sorry, did you mean 'can I forget that important thing'?

BECAUSE YES YOU CAN!