this post was submitted on 14 Dec 2024
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Mental Health

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It is less than a week till Christmas and I still have not gotten anything ordered or anything, I have felt depressed and low energy these pasts couple of months, I cannot even keep up with my house chores which angers my roommates. I don't think they want to hear about my mental health anymore, I think they are gonna be very upset when they bought me thing and I got nothing or just offered cash since I really have no energy to shop for them and I have no idea what to get and this has been a major cause of stress these past couple of weeks on top of non stop work, with only one day off in between. I just feel like I am crashing out and wondering if I should just move out and be homeless since I cannot really be the best roommate right now

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[–] [email protected] 3 points 4 days ago

For my best friends, there were years when I don't get them a Christmas or birthday gift, but I have just got them something I think they needed at some random point when I saw them, and was like, "here, your birthday/Christmas gift, whatever".

I do think you should do your chores, but I get it that it's not easy as that. As a former roommate who did the most cleaning up after all four others, this would bring far more joy to me than receiving a gift in return for me giving one. It might make you feel a little less miserable to get something done.

If your roommates are really expecting money or something in return for the gift, in my eyes (tax law is a different matter), that's a sale or a trade, not a gift. It is and should be out of generosity, and whatever you get or give should be in that spirit rather than obligation imo. If you feel shame and feel obliged but need ideas, why don't you order a nice meal for everyone, booking a spot at a restautant for whoever's schedules align or you have it delivered to your place for them as the gift? Alternatively, gift cards for a place you knkw they like to go is a super simple option.

Listen, it's not the end of the world if you can't get a gift for Christmas in time. No need to move out over it. Work is hard enough. Don't put yourself through more unhealthy stress just because of capitalistic cultural brainwashing to get you to spend money.