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These couches are hostile furnishings for the home. Designed with a center console that acts as a physical barrier between you and The Wife™. Complete with cup holders, motorized reclining action, and a storage compartment where you can keep your Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition collection.
There is no space on this couch for any form of physical intimacy.
This is exactly it. People who watch the local news at five and the evening news at six. People who only buy an Xbox for FIFA. People who have kids but can't remember their birthdays. People who have no passions about anything.