this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2023
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Asklemmy
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Well I do have around 200 pictures of my butthole, and if I was held for ransom where those pictures were emailed to either of my grandfathers then I would pay a tidy sum to prevent it. Grandma, mom, dad, step-niece, I don't care. But if my grandfather might see my butthole, I would happily pay $40m to keep him from seeing my bare back butthole and balls. I don't want you all to get the wrong idea, I love Gramps, but he has seen enough of my butthole, and I want to stay in his will.
I have, in fact, gained access to your sphincter vault. I will be emailing these pictures to both of your grandfather's (and 2 excoworkers). Please send me 40 million dollars to scammy(dot)scam scam(at)notascam(dot)com.
Thank you.
The true power move is to send it before the hackers do. Beat them to the punch.
Hamilton moment.
You should consider putting pants on, then
But I don't have pants on to put
Only 200? Step up your game. Gramps didn't sub $5.99 / month OF out of his retirement funds for nothing.
Why do you hold on to them?
I wanted to do one of those old school photo montages where I took a picture everyday. It becomes a real chore trying to find time to expose your dump truck. Call it sunken cost fallacy, but my butthole has done a lot for me over the years.
...Why would you do a photo montage of that?
To send to my grandfathers.
Why?
I mean, why do we take pictures of our offspring? They're keepsakes to remember how they've grown. When I play them the montage on their death beds they can finally say, "you sure have grown into a giant asshole."
My best guess is hemorrhoid followup - what would you do, ask your neighbor to look and comment on your butt?
Oh dear. I guess that's what's necessary.
Lemmy moment