i was trying to be tactful, respectful, and understanding by posting this thread for ppl to ask questions abt our beautiful hexbear. i didnt get any questions.
it took 4 hours for Ada, their admin, to respond. she locked the thread shortly after responding
her reply above was disheartening, as she seemed willing to work with us previously. equating ableism to a dunk tank post is just vile. and claiming the transphobia in 196 is “a specific event that occurred around a month ago” proves she didnt read any of our concerns. i didnt know abt that event, im sure most of us here dont. our concerns are rooted in the chasers of 196 (non-trans ppl who fetishize trans ppl). someone replied to her saying we were “concern-trolling”. is it that unbelievable that we care abt not having bigotry in the same space as us. i want to grab some of these users by the shoulders, shake them, and yell, “WE ARE BEING GENUINE. WE ACTUALLY CARE ABOUT PROVIDING A SAFE, SUPPORTIVE SPACE FOR ALL PEOPLE, AND YOUR COMMUNITY IS ALIENATING TRANS AND DISABLED PEOPLE!!”
responses were not very positive of us
they think this is a bit! lol, lmao even! this whole thing has me 
this chain of comments particularly upset me
“its a troll”. my pronouns are right next to my name, and “it” isnt one of them (even tho thats 100% a valid pronoun to prefer)
this one had me fully 
and the cherry on top warranted its own post https://hexbear.net/post/373453
Gold star lesbians ostracise other lesbians who've been with men before; want people to believe they just came out of the womb lesbian. Three no's, which i have more familiarity with, are the gays who have "No Blacks, no fats, no fems" either at the top or bottom of their grindr profiles. Usually white, moneyed up twinks, though before I pitched out my own profiles and became a bitter queer hermit, I was seeing that mindset metastasize to non-whites.
to be more specific, gold star is a TERF thing and it's meant to exclude lesbians who have sex with trans women. it's extremely gross.
Holy shit, it gets worse! So the one 'gold star' I had the immense displeasure and misfortune of knowing either didn't know what she was talking about, or had a whole lot worse personality traits that would have seen her clipped from the circle anywho. Lovely.
It is definitely used by most people to mean that they've never been with a man. But of course, transphobes don't see trans women as women, so... 🤢