Men's Liberation
This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.
Rules
Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people
Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren't talking over men expressing their own lived experiences.
Be productive
Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people's efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed.
Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting:
- Build upon the OP
- Discuss concepts rather than semantics
- No low effort comments
- No personal attacks
Assume good faith
Do not call other submitters' personal experiences into question.
No bigotry
Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated.
No brigading
Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues.
Recommended Reading
- The Will To Change: Men, Masculinity, And Love by bell hooks
- Politics of Masculinities: Men in Movements by Michael Messner
Related Communities
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As others have said, it's not just men that perceive that negatively; women do also. I can't recall who said it, but feminism has meant that there are many different ways to be a woman now, but there is still only one socially acceptable way to be a man. The social consequences to men for being emotionally vulnerable can mean the loss of all social connections; I know that I lost about 3/4 of the people I thought were friends when I failed to successfully complete suicide. That creates a very strong disincentive to being vulnerable in the future.
That's it there, as a younger man most of the relationships I've been in end around 1-3 months in when I start trusting them and open up more emotionally. They almost always start ignoring me, ghost me or tell me it's not working out.
It makes you really just lose confidence in yourself as a person, when you're reserved they want you they want your body, once you open up and you're vulnerable even once everything changes all of the sudden.
I'm lucky to have a girlfriend who doesn't think like that, the fact that she is part of LGBT community probably helps.
and here I am wishing I could even find someone who wants me at all, even if it was only for my body
Gym
yeah, I've been hitting the gym since February. hopefully it will count for something some day.
What's especially unfortunate is that it's not just men that perceive it negatively. I'm reminded of Brené Brown's Ted Talk quote: https://youtu.be/psN1DORYYV0?t=16m37s
Great talk, I recommend it too!