It's so sad
this post was submitted on 08 Sep 2023
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My dad sends me these and also lots of pictures of flowers with Bible verses about forgiveness over them. I haven’t responded in almost a year, but I know when he’s having a bad night because he’ll just start sending me a bunch of messages. The reason I don’t talk to him has nothing to do with politics. Suffice it to say that about 3 years ago I started having very good reason to be scared of him being around me or my kids.
That’s wild. I dunno about you, but after a certain point the mixed feelings about all the bizarre behavior just blurs into apathy for me. I got tired of spending energy in trying to make my parents’ actions make sense. Engaging with it at all is almost… boring?
My mom does this. She send me texts and emails of pictures with quotes of positivity plastered on top.
After the last time I saw her a few months back, she texted me that I seemed distant and asked if anything was wrong. Over the past few years, I've been coming to terms with just how emotionally abusive and manipulating she was when I was a child. She spent a decade with a man, not my father, who was an alcoholic and was the same way but worse, with some physical abuse sprinkled in because why not. Always taking his side in any conflict. Even when that ended, she found a new manipulative piece of shit to side with.
In response, I told her that I've become aware of just how much unresolved childhood trauma I have and that I'm having a hard time reconciling it. I guess I thought that this might open up a channel of communication, but nope. Her response basically amounted to "get therapy". Not the worst advice, but I didn't come to her for advice. She asked. I should have known better.
She mailed me a letter, but I haven't been able to get myself to open it. I feel like whatever is inside is just going to upset me.
🫂