this post was submitted on 29 Sep 2023
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[–] [email protected] 106 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Sometimes people mix up the order of things and thus the cause and effect. For instance, with some medical issues, doctors have thought things like "oh, you went on this extreme diet, then you lost weight and had gastric issues". No, I lost weight and had gastric issues, so I went on an extreme diet. In this case, i think the misogyny precedes lack of success at finding a partner. It can also be a situation of giving up too soon. For me, middle school and high school were so horrible in various ways that i assumed I was 100% doomed - I didn't realize that life after 20 is very different. It still has high school social aspects, but it's a lot better in many ways.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's not what this link says

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Yeah, i drink wine all day and can't actually read.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Probably not the best thing to do if you have gastric issues.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Yeah, I don't think it's recommended in general.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (15 children)

Please teach me how to make the best out of my 20s!

[–] [email protected] 49 points 1 year ago

Be more accepting of yourself and follow those passions. Nobody cares in your 20s what you do in your spare time, as long as it is something. There is nothing more boring than a person who has no passions and just exists.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 1 year ago (4 children)

If I was to redo my 20s. What worked was going to university in my mid 20s. I was able to finish it much quicker and made some close friends during by that time as well as set my career path going. What I wish I had done was move away from the city I grew up in. I only did it in my late 20s and I regret not doing it sooner.

Have lots of social interactions. It’s valuable. Set yourself up career wise. Always check to know you haven’t hit a ceiling where you’re working. Exercise and travel lots would be my key takeaways.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

Great advice, thanks!

[–] Ubermeisters 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) (1 children)

Always check to know you haven’t hit a ceiling where you’re working

Disagree. Sometimes its perfectly fine to hit a ceiling if you are comfortable where you are and are withing comfortable means. This always look for better is exhausting, and 100% guarantees you will never like your job.

To be clear, I am NOT advocating that people should stay in dead end job they hate. Do not under any circumstance willingly stay at a job you hate. you only get one life, dont make it about work or money.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I think it’s important in your 20s to push yourself and know where your ambitions and priorities lie. Checking if your work is a dead end can also signify wherever you’re growing in your skill sets too. What you don’t want is suddenly needing to push yourself later in life having to compete with people younger and hungrier than you. Try young and try hard will help minimise regret later.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago

Get fit by finding something you enjoy that gets your heart going, track your spending, learn cook healthy meals, listen well and develop empathy. Good things will come.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (16 children)

One tip, say yes more than you say no.

Of course, there are exceptions, but try to say yes more than you’d initially want. If coworkers are going out for drinks after work, but you’d rather go home and stream/game/etc, go out. Same for other social activities.

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Find exercise that's fun, that you will continue to do for the rest of your life. Exercise regularly. You don't need to get swole, but it staves off mental health better than anything.

Compare beers to sodas. If you would feel odd drinking 5 sodas in a row, you should feel odd drinking 5 beers in a row. Don't be the last guy at the bar/party.

Just build healthy daily habits.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Don't have kids until your 30s.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

And don't feel the need to have kids in your 30s either.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Then enjoy your fourties while the parents get ground down by the unreasonable burdens of raising kids.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Let go of the small things and just be. It's not exactly "don't give a fuck," but it's close. Aim for meeting people and going out to do things, not necessarily specific people or popular things, just good people and things that are fun for you outside of the house. Realize you will grow and change a lot in your 20s, and so will everyone around you; so if you have a huge crush on someone your age that doesn't like you back that way, then tell yourself you might really dislike them in 5 years so it's not a big loss if they don't like you now. It's also OK to let friends go if you have an attraction to them that isn't returned, because you have to protect your mental health. It's OK to not drink or do drugs, but it's also OK to drink and do drugs... just don't do either to extremes and don't be extreme about not doing drugs/alcohol. Try joining clubs for different things, even things you've never done. Realize most people don't have things figured out in their 20s and that you can make mistakes. Make mistakes. Be well-rounded. It's cool to play video games and DnD, but don't JUST do that (especially if you want to meet women). Get clothes that fit properly, not necessarily expensive or cool clothes. A completely plain t-shirt that fits well (go to Target and buy every color of their Goodfellow everywhere V-neck T for $8 each) plus a pair of jeans that aren't baggy and some Adidas shoes is an outfit you can wear everyday that will look good and is so comfortable.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (2 children)

really depends on the drug imo... It is like playing the lottery... I know people who have permanent health issues (ie - halucinations) now as a result of cannabis and my father died of an OD and got started on hard drugs via a laced joint. I'm not going to be an asshole about it but I really wouldn't recommend doing drugs.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

And that's totally your choice, but if you judge or avoid others because of their choices then you will be limiting who will be comfortable hanging out with you.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

Take care of yourself, dress in a way that makes you look your best, and pursue what you want. Also be fun to be around. Moderately attractive and fun beats out hot and miserable nearly every time

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