this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2023
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[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I was a severe insomniac at the time, and this event lead to a diagnosis of Bipolar disorder. It happened a few times, but this was the worst. Got on meds and have been fine since. Enough prefacing.

I was at, for lack of a more specialized term, my cousins house. The oldest one of them was right around my age, but she was out of town for a competition, so I crashed in her room. At some point in the night, I'm full on hallucinating after not sleeping much in a while.

Dark, cloaked figures, in the corner of the room, chanting in some language I didn't recognize. I don't mean I didn't understand it, it sounded difficult to pronounce with a human mouth. This went on until the sun rose. I'd check the corners, and nothing, get back in bed and there they go again.

For people wondering, yes, manic episodes along with their common presentations, can also present as hallucinations. It took 20 years, from a diagnosis and depression as a child, to bipolar diagnosis, to fine tuning meds, to stable.

I'm dealing with a person resistant to any kind of therapy right now and I just want to scream at them that if their docs aren't helping, try a different one, don't give up. 20 fucking years. Over half my life struggling for a solution. It takes time and work, both.

If you need mental health assistance, or even if you've just had a really tough patch, find the appropriate professional for you. It doesn't mean you're crazy, it just means you're struggling. They help with tools to help stop struggling. Sometimes yeah, its pills. Other times its adapting your behavior and expectations to produce better more satisfying results.