this post was submitted on 02 Dec 2023
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A person that only dates cis people is not transphobe.
A person denying trans people and being discriminative is transphobe.
Only dating cis people does not make you a transphobe, but calling yourself 'super straight' probably does
This is explicitly ignoring the context of the term
The question is, what is the exact reason one won't date a trans person? Especially if it's a post-op trans woman so there is no genital preference?
Because they don’t want to. End of.
Would you accept the same rationale for "I don't wanna date anyone that isn't white" or "I don't want to date a bisexual person"? Or are these things rooted in something deeper?
I would accept any reason for anyone not to date me. Im not entitled to people wanting to date me.
Now if people don't want to work with me, or if I want to join a sports club or whatever ans they dont want to accept me, or be friends with me, that's a whole other story.
Yes, in the original sense of the word you're discriminating. That doesn't make you a transphobe.
Sexual preference isn't bigotry.
I'm all for trans rights, but there is no human right of having others be attracted to you.
Your sexual partner will be able to tell if you're trans. In a relationship I'd expect my partner to tell me they're trans.
And everyone is allowed to choose their sexual partners based on whatever criteria they want, cause really, attraction isn't something you can control anyway.
I don't. And this isn't about me, since I'm not against dating trans people at all.
But I stick to my opinion that not being attracted to trans people doesn't make you a transphobe.
Same as not being attracted to redheads doesn't make you a redheadphobe.
Yea, this whole discussion is kinda weird.
Implying that anyone has to be attracted to a whole gender at once is absolutely bananas to begin with.
I'm technically a straight cis male, mostly, maybe, I think it's a spectrum.
That doesn't mean I'm attracted to all women, trans or not.
I certainly don't expect all straight women to be attracted to me, that's just preposterous and anyone who think like this, regardless of the genders involved, is firmly into incel vibes.
Anyway, I've always been mostly attracted to people I have strong emotional connections with, and having been in a relationship for almost 20y now makes this kinda moot for me atm.
This is kinda nuts. I've chatted with some trans friends, and the consensus is they're chill about it. Transphobia's so rampant that judging anyone for their personal attractions is just not cool.
Same goes for me, for instance. I'm just not into trans guys. The world's complex, for real
I mean, is it discriminative in the purest sense of the word? Yes. But people discriminate against people as intimate partners for way shallower reasons than their gender identity and it’s considered acceptable. Think height, weight, muscle mass, sizes of various body parts. Is it discriminatory? Technically. But it’s not a hate crime any more than the other reasons I listed above are in the context of choosing an intimate partner.
Not to mention one big factor that’s important to some people: the ability to have children. As of when I posted this comment, the only trans people who can have children are the ones born with a female reproductive system who haven’t had it surgically removed. This does not make any trans people less valuable as people (thinking that would be transphobic), but it does make them incompatible as intimate partners for people who do wish to have children. At least at the time this comment was posted. I’d love for this comment to be invalidated by new medical breakthroughs at some point in the future!
You’re the one being the bigot here by caring about what goes on behind someone else’s closed doors that doesn’t involve you.
We cannot judge others based on what they are attratcted to. No one is entitled to make others have an intimate relationship with them.
On case contrary, if a person doesn't want to work with trans people or dont want to be friends with them, that's being transphobic
That's not how the real world works and I encourage you to step away from Tumblr or whatever the kids are using these days. I transitioned in the mid 00's and this virtue signalling of "YOU MUST DATE TRANS PEOPLE OR UR TRANSPHOBIC!!" is a very recent trend that has no bearing on reality, and in fact only divides us further. Just let people date who they want to date.
Thank fuck this is being seen for the ridiculous sanctimony that it is.
Yes you are. You discriminate all the time with things and people because you are free to choose the things you enjoy or it's practical in a given situation. For example, if you choose to go to work in a car then you're discriminating bicycles, and if you choose to go walking you're discriminating both cars and bicycles. Needless to say, this won't make you a carphobe, if it's just practical or if you just enjoy to walk. Unless, you are really afraid of getting into cars.
You can like trans people, but if you are not comfortable around penises or vaginas or the lack of one of these, it is what it is. I mean that's the whole point of respecting diversity. What would be the difference between forcing any person to live with a transgender person and a cisman forced to be in a straight marriage? I don't see one. I think the bigot position is to force a given behavior to people, as if it was a sacred norm.
Unless it involves (children and/or animals;vulnerable) we shouldn’t care about who someone else prefers to date regardless of if we approve it or not. The live and let live rule should apply to more than just congress.