this post was submitted on 07 Dec 2023
281 points (93.8% liked)
Asklemmy
43396 readers
1261 users here now
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
Search asklemmy ๐
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
- Open-ended question
- Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
- Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
- Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
- An actual topic of discussion
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
- Lemmyverse: community search
- sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
- [email protected]: a community for finding communities
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_[email protected]~
founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
god i wish most men were like this. but there's 50 yr old men out there dating women fresh out of highschool, yuck
I had the hots for women in their 40s when I was a teenager ยฏ\_(ใ)_/ยฏ
most hopefully they weren't irresponsible enough to date a teen, that'd be just as yuck no matter the gender
Oh I was far too awkward to get involved in anything like that, along with its inappropriateness.
OMG. Yuck? as in.... disgusting? like sushi?
I understand where you're coming from, but you're expressing your taste and values in a very dismissive way
i dont get how calling someone that age dating a teen 'yuck' is dismissive lol
They're both consenting adults, and it's just sex.
It's yuck in the same way a teen might say old people (30+ yos) having sex are yuck.
But there's nothing inherently wrong about it, your views are just judgemental. May also just be a cultural thing to be fair, or as societies attitude towards sex become more open, older views may still just be very conservative.
That's not what you said, you don't get to lecture me by pretending you said something else.
Anything illegal deserves more yuck than I can count, but expressing your personal taste towards things that are legal and socially accepted (while frown upon) by dismissing a behaviour that you personslly disagree with is... dismissive.
huh? it is literally exactly for word what i said, so what are you talking about??
also, how am i lecturing you?? i dont even know you or anything about you. you replied to me calling my opinion dismissive and i disagreed, point out the lecturing. and anyway, why is there an issue with how i choose to express my opinion on something controversial, or anything in that matter? you find it dismissive that i think middle aged people dating legal teenagers is gross, okay, why should i care that how i expressed it is apparently dismissive??
OP doesn't mention their gender.
true, i made an assumption. either way, its yuck to date someone fresh out of HS if you're 10, 20, 30, 40+ years older. imo there's no reality where an 18 year old should be dating a 30 year old, even though it is legal
I think that if people are of an age where they can legally and ethically consent, and if there isn't any kind of abuse of power going on, it's none of my damn business. Maybe people should just fuck off with pushing their ideas about morality on other people.
im not pushing anything on anyone?? this is my opinion and i am allowed to have it, i'm not making any laws. i also agree with the other commenter that there's no way a relationship between a 30 year old and an 18 year old doesn't have an unbalanced maturity and power level dynamic. this is my opinion.
Some people are of the opinion that it's gross and immoral for two men to be romantically or sexually involved.
Some people think that anyone that doesn't identify with the gender they were born with is mentally ill and should be committed until they've come to their senses.
It's just, like, their opinion, man. Them expressing their opinion frequently, any time they see someone that might be gay or transgender isn't pushing their opinion, they're just expressing a belief.
I don't think you can date an 18 year old as a 30 year old without an automatic abuse of power. Even so, what does that say as the (middle aged) adult?
Take that to the logical conclusion, and no one can date anyone else because there's always some power imbalance. Oh, you're on track to graduate with a BS in 4 years? Sorry, it's unethical to date someone that's changed their major twice.
Given that I work and my wife does not, oh no!, I have too much power in the relationship because I'm the only one bringing in money!, so she can never consent to anything! Which kinda eliminates her autonomy.
By abuse of power, I mean someone that has a degree of power or authority over another person, such as a supervisor at work, a professor with one of their students, a cop (seriously, no one should ever date a cop, hard stop), a mentor and an intern, and so on. A 30yo that goes to the same gym as a 18yo has no power over that 18yo, and no direct way to coerce them into a relationship.
Wait, 30 is middle aged??
Nah gotta be between 500 and 1500 for middle age
Sure feels like it. I am so tired and my back hurts.
LOL
That's completely absurd. Age =/= Power :-D
Young women are free to date whoever they want. That is a great thing. Bodily autonomy. It's something to celebrate.