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How to introduce 5 year old niece to new things without 3 year old nephew feeling left out? (lemmy.world)

submitted 11 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I've got a niece (5) and nephew (3). The niece is really good about finding ways to entertain herself and the nephew will always try and take it for himself and intrude, usually not in a compromising sort of way. Obviously, this is pretty typical kid behavior overall.

She's reaching the age where she can learn more complicated games and ideas, which sounds really fun to introduce her to. If he's around, I feel like it will certainly cause a meltdown, and he's too young to reasonably participate anyway.

As an older sibling myself. I think it's also unfair to hold her back until he can participate too. Some would say it's unfair to do it until he can as well. I would argue that it's actually unfair to introduce 5 year old games to her when she is 7 and he's 5 and can join too. She's being punished imo unnecessarily and being held back. Why does she have to wait till 7 while he gets it at 5?

Is the only solution to try and schedule separate activity times to individualize the activities? Am I being biased as an older sibling myself in feeling that I would be holding back until he's at the same capability? Just curious for feedback. Thanks

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[–] [email protected] 12 points 11 months ago

Many years ago, I taught swimming lessons. In our program we did not have levels in our classes, we taught to the child's ability, mixing both ages and abilities in the class. What this did was the younger kids wanted to keep up with the older kids in their abilities. And the older kids that were more apprehensive would watch the younger kids putting their faces in the water and trying to swim without hesitation and it would push them to want to do what they were afraid of. I think everyone learns best in community with mixed ages and abilities.

I see this in both my own kids, one is about to turn 5 and the other just turned 1 last month. The younger really wants to keep up with his older brother.