this post was submitted on 30 Dec 2023
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I've never had a Facebook account or any other social media. I know they keep shadow profiles, but I've never given permission. I never had any interest and frankly still don't.

The problem I'm having is that I don't exist online when people try to look me up. When someone tries to check me out, there's nothing there and apparently that's considered abnormal these days. I think it's starting to affect my life negatively for various reasons I'd rather not get into.

I'd just like some advice about where to start if you wanted to dip your toes in and check it out. LinkedIn, maybe?

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[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

OP understands the risks, and they're asking for tips on how to mitigate them if they have to make an account.

A lot of the comments here either missed or intentionally ignored the post body... Or the downvotes on the comment with a personal account saying how single women can feel safer if they can learn about a new person before meeting them.

People have different circumstances and perspectives :)


My advice for the original post:

  • Joining: You don't have to join everything at once, figure out what you might need. This also depends on where you are because different platforms are popular in different places. LinkedIn is one of the few that are helpful in my area.
    • You can also start with Fediverse platforms if you prefer, but if you're trying to connect with specific people that might not help
    • An alternative getting your name published on articles or blogs to fill up the search results
  • Usage: Do spring cleaning constantly. It's a big task if you try to clean your feed all at once, and it'll be easier for you to do it from the start. When you don't like something/someone, unfollow or mute. You can do it in a way that the other person won't know, if that's important. A lot of the problems of social media can be avoided if you maintain your feed.
  • I'll add more if I can think of them, good luck!

I think it can help to have some presence, even if it is to control what information comes up when someone looks you up.