this post was submitted on 20 Jan 2024
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[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I rest easy knowing I'll be dead. Of course, knowing my luck, I'll be the first person they bring back Frankenstein style and someone will have stolen my penis.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Why stop there? What if you get brought back to life in some Black Mirror horror? You could end up stacking boxes in a warehouse continuously until you rebel and they reset you.

You: no more! I won't anymore

Manager: shit you need a reset, hold on

You: wait what?

Manager: reset. You know factory settings. Every week or so I have to reset you to the moment you first turned on. There used to be an automatic one but the last iPhone update broke the app.