Greetings from Finland! I got my vasectomy yesterday at the age of 30. Starting from that age a Finn can get sterilized with just the approval of the doctor that's going to perform that surgery. That procedure was a huge relief in my life. It may sound weird to some but I rejected all kinds of intimate interest from women (even though I am a hetero male) until this point in life mostly because I always, since childhood, had that nagging fear of procreating which is something I really want to avoid as one could see ๐ Girls must have kind of thought I just don't really like females or something ๐คฃ Temporary contraception to prevent pregnancy is too unreliable to me in my personal case; I don't want a relationship where I would constantly worry about contraception failing. The contraceptive items could break, I couldn't know for sure if a woman has used her contraceptives; and some female contraceptives would carry too big of a health risk to her (I just cannot tolerate those risks to my prospective lady but want to cherish her).
I'll just have to wait a few months to hopefully get a negative lab test to show there are no cells to create offspring in that stuff. Then I can finally start looking for a spouse without fear of pulling a trolley around the balcony later on. I have realized lately that a relationship usually just doesn't work (not all cases of all people are such, however) if one of the partners is a childfree-minded individual and the other is not. So I think the only way to find happiness and longevity with a spouse in my case is to find a partner who is sterilized, too. I just know of too many cases of a person telling to their not-willing-to-reproduce partner that they don't want kids, either, and after basically building their life together, telling to that partner that maybe a kid would be a good thing after all and then divorcing.
This surgery was one of the best things to happen to me ever. I am really happy with my decision. However, some very conservative religious relatives and other such people around me might give me some nagging and whining if they somehow find out that I got sterilized. I still have my Christian faith like I used to, I just won't make kids. Marriage is not meant to be a Victorian era "Shut your eyes tight and think of England" kind of thing, anyway ๐
I'm 27 and will probably be getting it soon. It sounds like it's not as bad as I though, while also doesn't affect your sex life in the negative sense later, so that's good to hear!
What do you think is the best age to start considering it? I'm pretty deeply set on not having kids and I don't see anything that would convince me otherwise, and it's so important to me that it's one of the first things I mention when starting a relationship. I was always trying to make it clear that I will pay for and handle protection, if something happens I always went to get the pills asap, and always was clearly communicating that if even through all of that a child happens, I'm helping with abortion as much as I can, or if she wants to keep it I'll keep paying her but she will never see me again. While it does sound harsh, it was important to me to get the point across even at the cost of sounding inconsiderate, so I think that I'm pretty much decided on that matter.
But I have no idea how do humans and biology works, and I've already seen what the brain can do when I overdid something and got a temporary psychosis, even though I'm perfectly normal otherwise - so if there is some kind of biological process that makes you want kids later in life, I guess I may reconsider and then suffer for it - hence the question. Did anyone older experienced such a strong change of opinions later in life, regarding children?
My experience with the surgery was that I was a bit tender for a week or so, nothing terrible though
You obviously feel pretty vulnerable during the procedure, but I was chatting with the doctor as he did his work which took 10 minutes maybe
I drove home afterwards (sitting was uncomfortable) and iced the boys for a while
The doctor actually offers antianxiety meds to his patients and I saw at least one guy that went with them - his wife was escoriting him while he was all spaced-out