this post was submitted on 12 Jul 2023
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childfree

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Greetings from Finland! I got my vasectomy yesterday at the age of 30. Starting from that age a Finn can get sterilized with just the approval of the doctor that's going to perform that surgery. That procedure was a huge relief in my life. It may sound weird to some but I rejected all kinds of intimate interest from women (even though I am a hetero male) until this point in life mostly because I always, since childhood, had that nagging fear of procreating which is something I really want to avoid as one could see 😃 Girls must have kind of thought I just don't really like females or something 🤣 Temporary contraception to prevent pregnancy is too unreliable to me in my personal case; I don't want a relationship where I would constantly worry about contraception failing. The contraceptive items could break, I couldn't know for sure if a woman has used her contraceptives; and some female contraceptives would carry too big of a health risk to her (I just cannot tolerate those risks to my prospective lady but want to cherish her).

I'll just have to wait a few months to hopefully get a negative lab test to show there are no cells to create offspring in that stuff. Then I can finally start looking for a spouse without fear of pulling a trolley around the balcony later on. I have realized lately that a relationship usually just doesn't work (not all cases of all people are such, however) if one of the partners is a childfree-minded individual and the other is not. So I think the only way to find happiness and longevity with a spouse in my case is to find a partner who is sterilized, too. I just know of too many cases of a person telling to their not-willing-to-reproduce partner that they don't want kids, either, and after basically building their life together, telling to that partner that maybe a kid would be a good thing after all and then divorcing.

This surgery was one of the best things to happen to me ever. I am really happy with my decision. However, some very conservative religious relatives and other such people around me might give me some nagging and whining if they somehow find out that I got sterilized. I still have my Christian faith like I used to, I just won't make kids. Marriage is not meant to be a Victorian era "Shut your eyes tight and think of England" kind of thing, anyway 😃

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 year ago (2 children)

Interesting take.

It’s been miserable before, so why not inflict misery on your potential kids?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Without hope, we have nothing.

[–] [email protected] -2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why not just end the human race and sterilize everyone? I truly believe in and support peoples right to choose not to have children, but saying the world is a fucked up place is not a good reason. The world was a far more brutal and fucked up place compared to modern times. It’s not even really comparable. News headlines always make it seem like the world is in utter chaos but it really isn’t.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You haven’t attempted to explain your position, you just doubled down.

Your position comes across as “Yeah, it’s fucked up, but it’s been worse. Why not crank out some kids?” That’s, to me, an objectively shitty starting point.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Not what I said at all, not even close.