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Conflicted feelings about a long-term relationship (hexbear.net)

submitted 6 months ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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So I've been in a relationship with my boyfriend for coming on 8 years now. It's been mostly really good, but more recently I've been feeling less into it. This is my first real relationship and I can't help but feel that I've missed out on a part of myself because of it.

It's not been helped recently because I've met someone, and I've really clicked with her, in a way that I hadn't with him. Thing is, I don't want to end my relationship with him necessarily. Recently I've been coming to realize that monogamy has never sat right with me, but when I brought this up to him he immediately shut it down and made a comment about poly people just wanting to cheat.

Idk, I don't think I'm really looking for answers about this, mostly just venting.

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[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

Yeah. I get this train of thought. I’ve been with my wife for 12 years. She is my soul mate and I’ll never ever let her go. However, I felt like I lost a lot of chances to date in my life because she was practically my first real relationship. For us, poly was the correct answer though as she had no qualms being just an instrument in the band. And now I’m with my wife and my fiance of two years and it’s been one hell of a ride I wouldn’t give up for anything.

That being said, when it boils down to it, considering that your boyfriend seems very clearly against it on grounds that are based in ignorance, perhaps you can educate a little to see if he will be more amicable towards what polyamory is actually about. However, if he’s too hostile towards the idea, then you’re going to have to play by his rules so to speak. When it comes to relationships, it is indeed a work of art between two people. Both need to be working in tandem for it to be a masterpiece.