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What's a conventionally popular thing that is also popular on Hexbear that you personally dislike, or even hate? (hexbear.net)

submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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I'll mention something different for my own contribution than my usual:

I've always hated Seinfeld, including when his show was brand new. "It's a show about nothing!" was a thought terminating cliche in the 90s that was used to pitch the show at me again and again by its fans, and also to dismiss any and all problems I had with the show and its ultra-privileged smarmy main character. If I got anything valuable out of that show and for that matter his stand up routine, it was a lifelong allergy to New Yorker comedy that front loads a whole lot of "I am a New Yorker which means I am smarter and tougher and wiser and more cultured and more sophisticated yet more grounded than you" self-aggrandizement into the set. :nyet:

EDIT: Please post your own disliked Hexbear-approved popular things! Don’t just reply to mine! :rage-cry:

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[–] [email protected] 0 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

This is super late cause work and sleep, but... :yea:

While Jordan Peterson is a hack, I think something can be said for the "take a bath/clean your room" thing boosting people's confidence enough to form a personality cult over it. Doing little self care/maintenance behaviors is a bit like the beginnings of forcing a self love on yourself that most lonely people seem to struggle with. People who take even a modicum of care for themselves, I think, have this glow that just makes them more approachable. So it seems like a logical first step for anyone trying to get out of a rut. I think that's why hexbear does the "go to the gym" thing, too.

But besides that there's just having some interests or hobbies, too (really common advice, I know). Something that you just do for you to make yourself feel more whole or connected with reality. People notice that and more often want to connect with that homey feeling in a person. I think that's why people tend to be drawn to watching people do old handicrafts, or speedrunning games, or sports.

There are some theories that love has to do with how we direct our attention, so while our base judgement of people who are more active is "X likes Y because they're better than me", I don't think that's really ever the case like how incels view things like a meat market. People who are genuinely looking to connect with someone want to see that that person is attentive: to themselves, to their surroundings, to others. People will value different signifiers based on how they grew up, obviously, but I think that attentiveness and self love is what they all those signifiers have in common.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

The big problem is that a lot of this is stuff that I've genuinely been trying to work hard on for the last 4-5 years, and not only has it not really changed anything socially about my life (although I have been slightly more stable in employment), it's all come crashing down on me lately. I got a real bad leg injury (like, probably gonna require surgery to reattach something bad) in the course of keeping up with my regular weight-training routine & my work, and not only is it costing me a lot of money, but it's also prevented me from moving forward with my life (i.e. getting my own place closer to work).

I'm also someone who didn't have a lot of opportunities growing up, I don't feel. I come from, & still live in, a small & relatively poor community, and I myself lived in a trailer park until I was about 12. I've also got ASD, and it's significant enough that I got diagnosed very young & spent nearly all my school years in special education; and where I went to school they were very big on physical restraint & isolation as punishments. My parents, just as well, had a lot of their own problems & were not generally able to pay attention to what was going on with me, or my sister (who has had a whole host of problems on here own). I never had a lot of chances to make friends with people in my time, and when I have tried most don't seem to care for my company, or my particularities. Admittedly some of that is my own fault though I suppose, as I was not a very happy or positive person for a very long time, and in a lot of ways I'm still not most of the time though I still try & do what I think is right.

I suppose for all of those reasons I don't really have the ability to be as naturally "attentive" as people might ask or expect of me; and that makes me very dubious of my ability to ever really be a part of society.

...

I'm not sure how I want to conclude this now as it's close to my bedtime, and I'm running out of brain-power to formulate & connect ideas with; but I hope you can figure out what I'm trying to get at here.