this post was submitted on 23 Feb 2024
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Greentext

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This is a place to share greentexts and witness the confounding life of Anon. If you're new to the Greentext community, think of it as a sort of zoo with Anon as the main attraction.

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If you find yourself getting angry (or god forbid, agreeing) with something Anon has said, you might be doing it wrong.

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[–] [email protected] 87 points 6 months ago (1 children)

OP encounters the protagonist who just woke up from cryogenic sleep

[–] [email protected] 7 points 6 months ago

dang dialog system is just 4 yesses, so you can't not give burger

[–] [email protected] 59 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 52 points 6 months ago (2 children)

The truth is, I may look like I have it all, but inside I'm just a scared little boy who never learned how to ask for people's food or their burgers. And the thing that scares me the most is that if people found out, my wife would go to jail, 'cause every night... A little boy goes down on her.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 6 months ago

I think you should leave

[–] [email protected] 8 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 50 points 6 months ago

Another option was to give him a lengthy contract to sign before he gets the burger. The terms and conditions could contain a clause where it says every bite he takes will have to be paid back with interest, either in currency or in burgers. This would require to keep a draft of this on you at all times.

Or you could have said no.

[–] [email protected] 43 points 6 months ago (2 children)
[–] [email protected] 9 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Living to the name I see.

(His name means pissdick.)

[–] [email protected] 3 points 6 months ago (1 children)

His name

Why you assuming pissdick's gender?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I've had interactions with pissdick before.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 6 months ago

Haven't we all...

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago

I mean, he was very polite and said please and even offered a reason why.

I'd probably give him just out of pity thinking he was going through some serious shit or was really high.

[–] [email protected] 31 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I'd probably end up doing the same, then be worried the person is going to poison themselves, find me, and report me for poisoning them with the burger I gave them and possibly end up in prison.

[–] [email protected] 30 points 6 months ago
[–] [email protected] 26 points 6 months ago (2 children)

If they are hungry enough to ask for it, they probably need it more than me. I can get more food if I'm still hungry.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 6 months ago (1 children)

Absolutely, imagine how badly you need something to ask a stranger to give you something.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

I mean, good on you and the person you're replying to for having empathy. But it's likely they get ignored 199 times out of 200, which means they're probably desensitized to asking.

Obviously not all people who beg are like that, but in New York I recognized people who begged every day and clearly DGAF whether the person said no or yes. The first or second time it happened I gave the person a granola bar and they said thanks in the most perfunctory way, and then immediately moved on to asking others.

Maybe they were saving it for a kid or something. Or maybe it was just their version of a "job."

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

Yuh how I see it too. My brain my lock up a bit too but I'd do the same, like damn if you're asking for an actively eaten burger you must really really need it. Could also be some kind of blood sugar emergency thing too.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 6 months ago (1 children)

I heard of a challenge where you do things you expect to get rejected. eg ask for the senior discount at a restaurant when you’re clearly not a senior. Maybe the kid from the bus was doing just that, not expecting anon to actually give them his burger.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 6 months ago* (last edited 6 months ago) (1 children)

As long as people aren't being a jerk about it, I see no harm in that.

A similar question happened to me, where a man asked me if he can have a 20oz cup but fill it with soup. And not really gaf about my min-wage job, said sure, thanks for asking!

Then for like a month, I was politely ask if there's any discounts, or if I can have like 50 packs of mustard. And sometimes I did accidentally upset a worker and I'd have to explain that I was really expecting a NO and seeing where it would go.

It helped me also become better at receiving rejection, which is a useful skill.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 5 months ago

There are two separate cultures around asking for favors like this.

In one, a person can ask for anything without being considered rude, but they are expected to not react negatively to being told 'no'.

In the other, it is expected that you only ask for something if you're sure the answer will be yes. Asking for something to which you expect a rejection is rude in this culture. Also people tend to react negatively to being told 'no', as they were fully expecting a 'yes'.

I grew up in the latter system, as it is what most of the western world uses. It requires far more social aptitude and ability to pick up on queues. It causes a ton of problems (especially with dating) and is a nightmare for anyone on the autism spectrum.

This is a long way of saying: be careful of who you ask for random favors from. In a customer role it's fine, but it may not go well with friends/family.

[–] [email protected] 18 points 6 months ago

Give half a burger?

[–] therealjcdenton 14 points 6 months ago

What a chad

[–] sleen 7 points 6 months ago

You eat him