this post was submitted on 05 Mar 2024
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So I've realized that in conversations I'll use traditional terms for men as general terms for all genders, both singularly and for groups. I always mean it well, but I've been thinking that it's not as inclusive to women/trans people.

For example I would say:

"What's up guys?" "How's it going man?" "Good job, my dude!” etc.

Replacing these terms with person, people, etc sounds awkward. Y'all works but sounds very southern US (nowhere near where I am located) so it sounds out of place.

So what are some better options?

Edit: thanks for all the answers peoples, I appreciate the honest ones and some of the funny ones.

The simplest approach is to just drop the usage of guys, man, etc. Folks for groups and mate for singular appeal to me when I do want to add one in between friends.

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[–] [email protected] 349 points 5 months ago (12 children)
[–] [email protected] 93 points 5 months ago

We can close this thread now. The question has been answered.

[–] [email protected] 36 points 5 months ago

instance name checks out

[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago

Threadkiller

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[–] [email protected] 170 points 5 months ago (21 children)
[–] [email protected] 69 points 5 months ago (13 children)

Y'all doesn't get enough love. It is gender neutral and extremely versatile.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 5 months ago (7 children)
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[–] [email protected] 121 points 5 months ago (18 children)

A lot of people use “folks” for plural.

I feel like “guys” is fairly un-gendered but people disagree with me. Personally, I haven’t used the word “guys” to refer to anything male in what seems like forever.

“Bud” and “fella” are good singulars.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 5 months ago

I used to have a maths teacher who called almost every number "guy".

"And this guy goes to zero, while this guy goes to infinity!"

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[–] [email protected] 86 points 5 months ago (7 children)

In Australia the gender-neutral term is ‘Cunt’.

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[–] [email protected] 86 points 5 months ago (2 children)

A wise man once said, "I'm a dude, he's a dudes, she's a dude. We're all dudes. Hey!"

[–] [email protected] 53 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) (24 children)

Strange though, that when you ask most men how many dudes they've slept with suddenly, she's not a dude...

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[–] [email protected] 52 points 5 months ago (4 children)

Try the following for groups:

Hey folks, how's it going?

Listen up assholes!

Greetings, gumshoes

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[–] [email protected] 49 points 5 months ago (1 children)

"Fuckers" is gender-neutral.

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[–] [email protected] 47 points 5 months ago

"Foolish mortals" is my go-to gender neutral form of address

[–] [email protected] 47 points 5 months ago (2 children)

What's up, cunts

Works best if they're your friends and also you're in Australia

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[–] [email protected] 46 points 5 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 45 points 5 months ago (5 children)

I’m AFAB enby, saying “you guys” and calling me “dude” is fine. Those to me aren’t gendered anymore. The people who get offended at general terms like these for groups of people need to touch grass.

But if you’re dead set on it, embrace y’all lol. Just don’t say it with a southern drawl and you’ll be fine. It’s a fantastic gender neutral term. You can also just train yourself not to add in the “you guys” to the “what’s up” phrase, and maybe just say “what’s up with you?” “What’s up with you all?” Etc.

[–] [email protected] 33 points 5 months ago (4 children)

"Offended" is a bit of a strong word.

Many trans folks are, understandably, bummed out when gendered terms that refer to their AGAB are used to refer to them.

I don't think there's anything wrong with trying to avoid causing that brief moment of dysphoria. That just feels like a thoughtful and kind thing to do.

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[–] [email protected] 44 points 5 months ago (3 children)

The simplest approach is to accept language is inherently gendered, and at a certain point it is exhausting to either take offense to everything or walk on eggshells.

I’m southern, so I use y’all almost exclusively lol

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[–] [email protected] 41 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 38 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Everypony.

An oft overlooked option that leaves no one indifferent.

[–] [email protected] 27 points 5 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago

But very truly

leaves no one indifferent.

[–] [email protected] 38 points 5 months ago
[–] [email protected] 37 points 5 months ago (4 children)
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[–] [email protected] 36 points 5 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 35 points 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago)

All the alternatives make me cringe.

If someone is insulted that you use the term "guys" for a group, they're not worth being friends with. That's a lot of exhausting mental energy to deal with. Ignore 'em and move on.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 5 months ago (2 children)
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[–] [email protected] 31 points 5 months ago (9 children)

'round here "guys" has become gender neutral. But "folks" is my go-to.

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[–] [email protected] 31 points 5 months ago (7 children)

I find "y'all" works pretty well, so does "folks" or even better "Fellow Workers."

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[–] [email protected] 29 points 5 months ago (6 children)

I mean buddy is already gender neutral.

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[–] [email protected] 28 points 5 months ago

Fellow kids

[–] [email protected] 27 points 5 months ago (14 children)

Man, guys, buddy, etc

Just use them as gender neutral. Done.

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[–] [email protected] 26 points 5 months ago (5 children)

I say y'all. It's inclusive.

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[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 months ago (3 children)
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[–] [email protected] 25 points 5 months ago (8 children)

"Citizens". It has the added benefit of implying that you're an authority figure and they're in trouble.

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[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago (1 children)
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[–] [email protected] 23 points 5 months ago (6 children)

Earthlings is the only valid option

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[–] [email protected] 22 points 5 months ago

"My fellow great ape"

[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago

Folks or Everyone tend to be my go to.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago

Cheese bags.

[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago (1 children)

folks, y'all, youse

friends / friend

comrades / comrade

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[–] [email protected] 21 points 5 months ago (1 children)

Guys is always fine as it refers to followers of Guy Faulks and pretty much anyone has probably considered blowing up parliament at some point.

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[–] [email protected] 20 points 5 months ago (2 children)

In the words of Kel Mitchell:

I'm a dude, he's a dude, she's a dude, 'cause we're all dudes.

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[–] [email protected] 19 points 5 months ago (12 children)

"Guys" is gender neutral already...

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