this post was submitted on 07 Mar 2024
391 points (97.3% liked)

Not The Onion

12089 readers
153 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 

I aspire to be this guy.

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 69 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (2 children)

The title bothers me. He still is totally fine, but he was, too.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 7 months ago (1 children)

This reads like a Mitch Hedberg quote.

"I used to do drugs. I still do, but I used to too."

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Wouldn't it be mad if every time this man went to the doctors, they told him "okay, now forget everything you know about vaccines!"?

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

But if he had never been vaxxed? Higher long COVID risk & stuff.

Maybe delusional-paranoia-quantities of shots are safer than none!

[–] [email protected] 60 points 7 months ago (2 children)

He's totally fine, plus now he can pick up radio signals from all over the known universe.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago (1 children)

With that many shots, he is basically a 5G tower at this point.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 7 points 7 months ago

Also legally allowed to walk around in public telling people "touch me child and be cleansed".

[–] [email protected] 49 points 7 months ago (4 children)

If you get 216 covid shots, something is clearly not fine.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago (3 children)

My elderly mother-in-law was terrified of COVID and made it a point to get two extra booster shots a few weeks after she got her original dose. She goes back every three months to re-up. I suspect she'd get more if the Pharmacy didn't have her on file.

Some people are just, like, the opposite of anti-maskers. Absolutely paranoid of the disease and ready to grab at any kind of tulpa offered if they're convinced it'll offer protection.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

This guy is calling people "Grandpa Biden" as an insult in other threads. I wouldn't take what he has to say about COVID too seriously. He's clearly a Fox News nutjob.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

Something you believe in so strongly it becomes real.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Perhaps she has "Hypochondria?" Who knows how many people/lives in her life that was affected by COVID. At least this article provides some confirmation that she isn't hurting herself.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (3 children)

Perhaps she has “Hypochondria?”

Or she's just on Facebook too much. She's not like this with everything, but COVID really got under her skin.

At least this article provides some confirmation that she isn’t hurting herself.

No more than someone with a bunch of tattoos, anyway.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 7 months ago (2 children)

That's a fair point. Unfortunately, there is still plenty of posts of antivax people dying from deaths that could have been prevented. Which coincides with the fact that the platform is incredibly anitivax in the first place.

I personally don't understand the tattoo reference here but have an up vote anyways. 🤷‍♀️

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago

It means you're one of the 99% who stop right before winning

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 49 points 7 months ago

I am from Germany, and the last time I hear about that someone got 217 vaccine shots it was satire because some places offers free food if you get a shot. And he said: "I was just hungry"

[–] [email protected] 34 points 7 months ago (1 children)

I get angry whenever someone pushes that "They lied to you" bullshit. I just tell them "well tell that to my fucked up heart and lungs."

[–] [email protected] 27 points 7 months ago

Or my dead-at-16yrs nephew.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 7 months ago (2 children)

Yeah but I heard my cousin's friend had only one and instantly got autism.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 7 months ago

If to mine but every time I try to use my 5G Mark of the beast I get an error message about having to update Adobe to get my full experience

[–] [email protected] 5 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

You need to get an even number of shots. 0, 2, 4, 8... Everybody knows that. Its basic science.

At 217 this guy's in real trouble if he doesn't grab another.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 7 months ago

Wow he really liked those shots

[–] [email protected] 19 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Well that's because he hasn't gotten the Bill Gates' microchip vaccine grown in the same peach tree dishes as his burgers administered by Biden's Gazpacho police and activated by the Jewish space lasers!

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 16 points 7 months ago (2 children)

I'm more curious to know if he ever got COVID or if it actually got him so many antibodies that he never actually got sick

[–] [email protected] 34 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (6 children)

~~The researchers did a bunch of tests and determined that he never had COVID, though they cannot attribute that to 217 boosters specifically. They noted that it could’ve been isolation, hand washing, etc.~~

Better to quote directly from the article:

Last, multiple types of testing indicated that the man has never been infected with SARS-CoV-2. But the researchers were cautious to note that this may be due to other precautions the man took beyond getting 217 vaccines.

load more comments (6 replies)
[–] [email protected] 14 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Good thing there's an article

[–] [email protected] 19 points 7 months ago (3 children)

I guess that is the second article from wired I've read this month and the first one was free. I only got the first paragraph before a paywall.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

Understandable, no he never got COVID

[–] [email protected] 12 points 7 months ago (1 children)

Interesting, thanks for letting me know.

[–] [email protected] 13 points 7 months ago (1 children)

No problem. Sorry I was being short before.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

No worries, I usually search on archive for the article if it has a paywall but I asked in the comments instead.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 7 months ago

Same for me but I used https://12ft.io/

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

Well that's one way to host a networked nanite symbiote.

He is Borg now.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago (6 children)

Wow. This opens up a possibility that we can keep exercising our immune system and study the long term effects of that. What if there was a weekly schedule of all diseases to practice immune response against!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago) (1 children)

How did no one notice he taking like a shot about every 3-4 days on average? Does that even make any sense? The more you try to parse it. Like, no one in his family noticed? Nor his Doctor? Did he travel around the world or to different countrues to get all of them? Since most countries do not have them all.

Looked into the guy, there is official evidence for 134 of the vaccinations, which include eight different types of vaccines authorized for human use. The remaining are self-reported. But still, guess no one cares or bothers to notice if you are pushing product.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 7 months ago (1 children)

What do you mean by pushing product?

[–] [email protected] 6 points 7 months ago

Hey kids, you wanna try vaccines?

load more comments
view more: next ›