this post was submitted on 07 Aug 2023
96 points (98.0% liked)

Not The Onion

12273 readers
1659 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
top 14 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 16 points 1 year ago (1 children)

I just assumed this was how Italians did capital punishment.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago (1 children)

You get a choice: Death by cheese, death by pasta, or death by marinara

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Is death by pasta being hanged?

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Nah, you're whipped to death a cat o' nine tails made of cooked spaghetti

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

Half cooked spaghetti would be more durable and effective.

[–] [email protected] 15 points 1 year ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

It just works.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 year ago

As much as this is tragic, I can't help but think about that episode of TNG when Worf got hit by a falling barrel and nearly died.

https://media.tenor.com/XbPBguZizYkAAAAd/worf-the-next-generation.gif

[–] [email protected] 4 points 1 year ago

He knew the risks.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

I can't even imagine what your last sight would be like

[–] [email protected] 3 points 1 year ago

Dovahkin, on a nearby mountain top: "Uh oh! Overencumbered. Hmmm.... I don't think I need all these wheels of cheese now that I have 30 million health potions. Off you go!"

Meanwhile

Italian man: "I sure hope I don't get crushed under the weight of thousands of falling cheese wheels, today."

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 year ago

The fate of one of the many unnamed NPC residents of Townton

[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago
[–] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

"Do you think they got a new shipment of cheese wheels in the corner market today?"

"Look. This is every cheese wheel in the game."

"Townton is so beautiful this time of day."

insane laugh

/haver