this post was submitted on 29 Mar 2024
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[–] [email protected] 58 points 4 months ago (2 children)

These guys send so much certified mail I think they're propping up the USPS.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Well it sure isn't the taxes they aren't paying.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

No tax dollars go to USPS.

[–] [email protected] 6 points 4 months ago (1 children)

Oh neat. I assumed like other government corporations it's bottom line is partly paid for by tax and the revenue generated makes up the rest.

[–] [email protected] 11 points 4 months ago

We are self-funding. The Postal Service generally receives no tax dollars for operating expenses and relies on the sale of postage, products and services to fund its operations.

Top facts you should know | Postal Facts - U.S. Postal Service (usps.com)

[–] [email protected] 8 points 4 months ago

Someone has to

[–] [email protected] 46 points 4 months ago (1 children)

They were red in the face because my arguments were so great. Certainly not because I was arguing asinine bullshit and wasting everyone’s time.

[–] [email protected] 12 points 4 months ago

Sounds like they were trying not to laugh to me.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 4 months ago (2 children)

After they made their 'so many great points,' everyone clapped

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago
[–] [email protected] 21 points 4 months ago (1 children)

This is about a rented steam carpet cleaner.

[–] [email protected] 10 points 4 months ago (1 children)

What? Can explain because I don't even understand what the fuck their talking about.

[–] [email protected] 26 points 4 months ago (2 children)

It's simple, really. When you were born, the government rented a million steam carpet cleaners in your name, which you can now use to pay off your credit card debt, by writing the serial number of one of the carpet cleaners in the "pay to the order of" section of your bill and mailing it to your landlord via a certified letter. However, this only works if the last two digits of the serial number are written in red ink, and if your landlord flies a gold fringed flag in the back of his pickup. Or, wait, maybe it's if he doesn't fly a gold fringed flag. I don't remember. Anyway, if the judge has a large dog that sheds a lot, and thus has a strong need for a carpet cleaner of their own, they may choose to waive the red ink requirement, but this can also only occur if you have exactly 4 silver stars on your License To Travel, which is a document that you obtain from that sketchy tweaker who works at Kinkos. He will only print these on his lunch break, if his supervisor isn't watching. Luckily, he also accepts payment in government-rented steam cleaners, though he's not really very happy about that, because word got out and now he has like a hundred steam cleaners in his garage that he doesn't know what to do with. So you have to make sure he doesn't spell your name incorrectly out of spite. Note that spelling your name "incorrectly" is, in this case, actually spelling it correctly per your state-issued birth certificate, because you fucking told him to spell it in all caps and follow it up with ", LLC", damnit Jimmy you're going to get me arrested again, what the fuck, you stupid tweaker, can't you do anything right?! I'll get you your goddamn meth, just shut up and print the fucking thing like I told you to, Jimmy.

Hope that clears things up for you.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 4 months ago

Yes totally clear now! Thank you.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 4 months ago

Now I'll sing the doom song. Doom doom doom dooom