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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/LiberalTacoMaster on 2023-08-12 17:36:49.
So I’m at a bar last night with my former college roommates/best friends (all 3 of us are 33M) having a fun guys night. For context my friends came to my hometown to crash at my place for the weekend and other fun stuff. We’re having a good time at our table catching up. I had earlier noticed my worst former bully (also 32/33M) walk in and he made eye contact with me which told me he recognized me. I didn’t care as I wasn’t going to go say anything to him. Back in high school, we both tried out for basketball but he convinced me to quit because I was better than a friend he had and wanted in the team. His dad was the coach so I walked away seeing as how it was a no win situation. He did other bully stuff too and you get the idea.
He decides to walk over to where my friends and I are and says my name and starts talking as if we’re neutral acquaintances/slight friends asking how I’m doing and stuff. I decided to cut him off and told my friends “this the dude I told you about!” And listed off his “accomplishments” like: so charismatic he turned a whole basketball team against me, I learned from the best like I didn’t belong on his team or should I say his dads team, etc. One of my friends asked if he was team mvp because of his dad and I chuckled and said yeah that’s the guy. It was pretty much a mini trial for him. I lightened it all up by saying I was just busting balls as he used to tell me then got serious and asked why he would want to come talk to me and why should I give him the time of day to hear him out.
He said he wanted to apologize to me for what he had done and that he’s glad I seemed happier with life than back when we were 17 (I am). He said he figured I would possibly react that way but admitted he was deserving of it. I responded by telling him that I appreciated the apology and I could clearly see he wasn’t who he used to be way back when and that since we roasted him I felt more understanding and forgiving since he stood there and took it like I used to when the roles were reversed. Said I wanted him to know that while he was forgiven and shouldn’t leave the bar feeling bad, I couldn’t mentally separate him from his 17 year old self and be best buds or anything with him because my 2 friends at the table were all the friends I needed in life. I told him I have no ill will towards him, wish him the best in life, etc and offered a handshake which he accepted, followed by him nodding at the 3 of us though I could tell he felt bad anyway about everything.
He sent me a Facebook message later that night that I woke up and saw. He thanked me for forgiving him and that my response to him making amends was the kindest out of 4 people he attempted that with in our town. I could tell he still felt bad but I was just being honest with him. I seriously don’t resent him anymore because I coach middle school basketball (6th year) as a second job after my office job simply because I want the kids experience to be better than mine was and it helped me get over the crap I dealt with back then. I don’t wish bad shit on him just not being friends with him. AITAH?