AITAH

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/ai75 on 2023-10-01 22:34:47.

What would you do? A moral dilemma

CW: Infidelity, pregnancy

I’m turning to the Internet and this community for advice here. I’m at a loss on what to do…

My sister and I (both 32) have been no contact for about a year. Part of the reason for this (on my part at least), is her incredibly questionable morality. I’m not a judgemental or puritanical person at all, but I do have a moral compass and have been increasingly bothered by her actions that are clearly harmful to others.

She works a highly paid job for a large company in our capital city. And she is sleeping with her boss. Okay, she is lonely and I know she very much wants a loving relationship.

Except that, aside from being her superior at work, this guy is married. He claims that his wife has mental health issues and, because of this, isn’t being a good wife to him. Their other major relationship issue was that he desperately wanted children but she was on the fence and they couldn’t conceive without help. So, on his insistence, she is undergoing IVF.

While he is sleeping with my sister, his employee.

To be clear, I don’t know them. I have never met either the man or his wife. But I feel so awful knowing about this and not doing anything. Even though arguably, I owe them nothing, or maybe even owe loyalty to my sister. Her job would be at risk if this came out.

But, I have been through pregnancy, and I’ve experienced poor mental health. I guess I just empathise so badly with this woman even though I don’t know her.

So, googled the company my sister works for and tried to figure out who the guy was, but he has a very common first name. I didn’t know his last name, so I couldn’t figure out who he was.

My mum visited recently. She is still in contact with my sister and knows the whole situation. When I told her I had looked the guy up, she immediately told me his last name and his wife’s first name. She told me that what I do with the information is up to me, but the implication was that she also thought that the wife should know.

So, now I’m pretty sure I’ve found both the guy and his wife online. What do I do? I really want to let her know what I know, but… would she want to know? She might be pregnant already. Would it be better to just let it go?

Plus, I’m pretty sure that if I did anything my sister would work it out and it would be the final nail in the coffin of our relationship. I’m not sure if I care about that.

If you were in the wife’s shoes, what would you want?

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/Ill_Atmosphere1064 on 2023-08-12 18:26:59.

So this probably isn’t the update people were hoping for.

I told Grant all of Keith’s awful behaviors and he interrupted me with the same tired excuses. I asked him if it wasn’t Keith but some random person, would he see it as innocent. He was silent.

I made an ultimatum that we had to go to couples counseling for the marriage to go forward. He agreed.

Grant then brought up the wedding. There was a few reasons I didn’t want Keith to be best man. One of them was the best man speech. I didn’t want to be insulted even subtly on my wedding day. Grant said that if I didn’t want Keith to be best man, then no one would be. I said that’s fine. Honestly I wanted to talk this over in couples counseling but he insisted on rehashing our arguments.

He also said that just to be fair I wouldn’t have a maid of honor. I didn’t understand this. Frankly, he didn’t have a problem with my friends. Grant likes them. It felt like he was doing that to punish me.

Then he said that if Keith wasn’t invited to the wedding, which isn’t what I said at all, then I shouldn’t either invite my maid of honor Alice, who’s my best friend, or Hannah. Hannah’s a bridesmaid but I don’t understand how he dragged her into this besides being Keith’s wife? It was a tit for tat situation. I think he was trying to make me back down by issuing ultimatums.

It backfired because Grant told Keith about our arguments on him and Hannah not being invited to the wedding. Which we hadn’t even agreed on. Keith laughed off him not getting invited but he got really pissed at Grant for uninviting Hannah. He screamed at Grant and basically won’t talk to him anymore.

Grant is upset because I’m mad at him and Keith is mad at him. I told him to save it it for couples counseling because opening his mouth did nothing but ruin the situation. This is way too much drama for a wedding. I don’t want this to be the rest of my life and our kids when we have them and I’m rethinking our marriage.

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/Chigs1186 on 2023-08-12 18:53:35.

MyWife’s step dad passed last week after a 4 yr battle with cancer. On his day of passing everyone gathered at her moms house to say last good guys and be together as a family. While there I went into the Pantry and saw a bottle of Vodka, I had mentioned that this is a hell of a day for a drink and I was going to take one. About an hour later my wife approaches me and told me that her mom was upset that I did so and had said “hasn’t he had enough to drink already?” I was sober and have never had an incident with her family around drinking. My wife and I got into a small argument about it and her sister overheard. In the days since both her sister and Mom have told her she should consider leaving me. Now the day of the Funeral my wife tells me he mom told her to not have me come if I’m drinking. I feel like that also means they don’t want me there at all and if I were to go it could be a distraction of has he been drinking. Also this comment honestly hurts my feelings and I feel likes it out of nowhere. Taking a shot on the day of death was maybe a not the best idea. But at this point I don’t feel like they want me there. IDK what to do.

Edit- Spelling

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/Green_Swordfish2356 on 2023-08-12 18:05:52.

I (18f) have been friends with my bestfriend zaine (18m) for about 12 years now. We have been together since 1st grade and unbreakable, he got a girlfriend a few months back and I was happy for them. Zaine moved in with me last year and have been sharing chores and stuff together, Chloe, zaines girlfriend doesn’t live with us but comes over and stays for a few days and I don’t mind it at all. But lately I have been noticing Chloe walking around the house in her bra and underwear. I have mentioned this to zaine and told him how I felt uncomfortable with her doing this in my house and when I had friends over she would just come out of the room and greet us like that, he told me he would talk to her about it because he had noticed it too.

After zaine told her about it and we talked with her on how it was uncomfortable for us and the people that came over she agreed and apologised. We thought she would actually stop until a few days ago me and zaine went out to buy some snacks late at night and returned to Chloe sitting down on the couch in her bra and underwear.

I got back and yelled at her telling her if she wouldn’t go by my rules in my house then I was happy to kick her out. She got mad and started throwing a tantrum which zaine dressed her up and kicked her out of the house.

Today she told everyone in the group chat on how I kicked her out last night and the reason I did it was because I was a whore who wanted everyone else’s man and fuck with them.

And called me an asshole for kicking her out and leaving her on the streets.

So am I the asshole here?

(By the way this is my first time on Reddit and English isn’t my first language if you don’t understand some of the words)

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/ThatOneUnfunnyUser on 2023-08-12 18:50:11.

I (28 M) live in Denver, Colorado with my wife Gabby (28 F). This incident happened at a birthday party seven years ago.

I used to always contact my parents. They would host Christmas parties and birthday parties every year. But one day it all changed. It was my Brother-In-Law's birthday party. My wife (girlfriend at the time) was at a work meeting in Utah and I was driving to their house from the airport after I dropped her off. I had already told my parents I might be late, but when I arrived they seemed a bit annoyed at me. I wasn't sure why so I put my gift with all the other gifts by their TV and excused myself to the restroom. After a couple of minutes, I went downstairs to see that the party had changed completely. I walked in to see what was wrong. The music was off, people were leaving, and everybody was silent. I noticed my sister had left too, which was strange as it was her husband's party. My mom told me to leave and I asked why. She asked me again, this time more sternly. I grabbed my coat from the coat hanger and walked to my car. Inside, my sister came and knocked on my door and asked if I could take her to my house. I asked why and she told me that my brother-in-law said that me and my sister were having sex. I was enraged by this. I drove to my house and took my sister, Lindsay, inside. Me and Lindsay shared a dorm in college and lived in a small house together before she got married. We were very close. I offered for her to sleep in my bed and I would sleep on the couch. She went upstairs to get changed and I immediately called my brother-in-law. I shouted at him for accusing me, and he kept telling me that it was true and that I should stop lying. He told me that I'm not to contact anyone in our family ever again.

After that I began to notice my family were saying bad things about be on social media, and they all began blocking my number and social media accounts. My sister got a new job at a Walmart near my house and after a couple years she moved out. My girlfriend came home not long after and told me about the situation. I explained everything to her and she believed me. Fast forward today, I was living my best life. I had just been married with only my wife's side of the family and some people on my side of the family attending. I got a new job as a Police Officer and I completely forgot about my family. That was until a couple days ago. I was playing Call of Duty with my friends and I got a phone call. I decided to ignore it until after the game. We had a break which we always did after every hour of playing so I decided to get a drink and grab some snacks then after that I called the person back. It was my mom, she told me that she was sorry and that my brother-in-law confessed to it being lies. My sister still hasn't got back together with him. My mom told me to call her back as soon as possible if it was okay for me to come back in contact. I still haven't. I'm not sure if I should.

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/LiberalTacoMaster on 2023-08-12 17:36:49.

So I’m at a bar last night with my former college roommates/best friends (all 3 of us are 33M) having a fun guys night. For context my friends came to my hometown to crash at my place for the weekend and other fun stuff. We’re having a good time at our table catching up. I had earlier noticed my worst former bully (also 32/33M) walk in and he made eye contact with me which told me he recognized me. I didn’t care as I wasn’t going to go say anything to him. Back in high school, we both tried out for basketball but he convinced me to quit because I was better than a friend he had and wanted in the team. His dad was the coach so I walked away seeing as how it was a no win situation. He did other bully stuff too and you get the idea.

He decides to walk over to where my friends and I are and says my name and starts talking as if we’re neutral acquaintances/slight friends asking how I’m doing and stuff. I decided to cut him off and told my friends “this the dude I told you about!” And listed off his “accomplishments” like: so charismatic he turned a whole basketball team against me, I learned from the best like I didn’t belong on his team or should I say his dads team, etc. One of my friends asked if he was team mvp because of his dad and I chuckled and said yeah that’s the guy. It was pretty much a mini trial for him. I lightened it all up by saying I was just busting balls as he used to tell me then got serious and asked why he would want to come talk to me and why should I give him the time of day to hear him out.

He said he wanted to apologize to me for what he had done and that he’s glad I seemed happier with life than back when we were 17 (I am). He said he figured I would possibly react that way but admitted he was deserving of it. I responded by telling him that I appreciated the apology and I could clearly see he wasn’t who he used to be way back when and that since we roasted him I felt more understanding and forgiving since he stood there and took it like I used to when the roles were reversed. Said I wanted him to know that while he was forgiven and shouldn’t leave the bar feeling bad, I couldn’t mentally separate him from his 17 year old self and be best buds or anything with him because my 2 friends at the table were all the friends I needed in life. I told him I have no ill will towards him, wish him the best in life, etc and offered a handshake which he accepted, followed by him nodding at the 3 of us though I could tell he felt bad anyway about everything.

He sent me a Facebook message later that night that I woke up and saw. He thanked me for forgiving him and that my response to him making amends was the kindest out of 4 people he attempted that with in our town. I could tell he still felt bad but I was just being honest with him. I seriously don’t resent him anymore because I coach middle school basketball (6th year) as a second job after my office job simply because I want the kids experience to be better than mine was and it helped me get over the crap I dealt with back then. I don’t wish bad shit on him just not being friends with him. AITAH?

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/Clcarrd2 on 2023-08-12 13:49:26.

So her first week of school was this week and I can tell she has had a rough go of it. So be the loving husband I am I saw a concert was coming to town of a band I really like. So I decided to obit tickets day of and set it up as a little surprise date night. I left work early went to get her a new outfit from boot barn that she could wear and waited for her to get home from work. I’m super stoked to give her the news and she seems to be some what thrilled show her the outfit I got her and turns out she doesn’t like it so she asked if she can wear something else, which I mean I was a little bummed that dressed cost a good amount of money and I really thought she would like it but okay it’s fine, whatever. We continue to get ready kiss the kiddos good bye and head to go eat. Dinner was eh, got into this weird discussion about how things have been going in the relationship as of late and kinda put the whole mood in a funk. We get done eating then head to the concert, after about 45 mins of being there she is just off the vibe that she doesn’t wanna be there so I throw out the option that she can head home and go bed if she really wants and turns out she takes me up on that offer. Now at first I’m like oh well no big deal, I really like this band and the last time I got tickets to go see them something similar happen to where we missed them, so I really wanted to see them this time around. So she ends up leaving and I end up staying, at first it’s not to bad but as the night goes on and I see all these couples it kinda starts to upset because I see they are having a great time and I’m there solo, no partner in crime, just alone. It really just kinda gets me upset/sad because I was really excited to be able to do something with my wife and it turns out the whole thing just kinda fell apart. Fast forward to the end of the night I made some new friends and got the singer to sign my hat which made my night. My main issue is that I feel my wife doesn’t seem to make time for me so trying to do stuff like this where it’s just me and her I really enjoy, But am I the asshole for giving my wife a way of the date and then getting mad that she took it?

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/ThrowawayConstruct5 on 2023-08-12 15:00:39.

My ( 44F) husband ( 47M) has basically declared war on me.

We have 3 kids ( 10M, 7F, 3F). Our son is a talented tennis player. My husband and I were both college athletes. He almost went professional for baseball. And I used to mentor girls who ended up becoming NFL cheerleaders.

My parents never had the money or dedication to support me pursuing what I loved- I made the best of it, but wanted it to be different for my son.

He gets intensive pre professional training. Because of that, and the fact that we were building our own dream house, my husband worked a night shift job, a first shift job, and also worked as 4 to 6 hour shifts as event staff during weekends.

Meanwhile I had a receptionist job that was 32 hours a week. My son's tennis sucks up the entire income from my husband's night shift job, plus my income. The rest of the money was needed to build and maintain our dream house.

I thought that contractors had bad insights. So we acted as our own GC. We had a construction loan but on top of that we had to pour our money into it because things went wrong. Friends told us our only way out was to build something unique enough we could just sell it for high and make some money from it.

At that point we started arguing. Apparently HelloFresh, which advertises affordability, isn't affordable. Argued about leasing a Jeep vs Toyota. Then came the instance where my husband was driving home from his day shift. He was feeling tired, yet he decided to start the car.

He drove for a while, apparently knew he was tired, and then pulled into the roundabout area of an apartment complex. He dozed off before putting the car in park and ended up hitting the apartment's garage door. He was fined by the apartment, plus a citation for reckless driving, and a fight started after he walked in the door.

I said that they've charged people with felonies for that. He could have lost his career. He starts screaming he has " woken up" and thinks he works so hard all for me. He called me a narcissist and said he thinks I get him to do all this because I feel inferior and to have somebody do all this gives me an extra kick.

He then said we needed a trial period apart. We got into an argument yesterday after he said he's thinking of quitting his night shift job and filing for divorce. He insulted our house saying it looked like 5 people from different eras built parts of it and smashed it together.

I replied by saying he's not going to get custody when I tell the judge about him being a reckless driver, and maybe he'd even be denied visitation. He screamed and said even child abusers get visitation and I replied that the court official wouldn't have to be in a car with them. My husband got calm and said that was the last straw- from now on I'm no longer important to him. AITA for saying things in anger when he's been blaming me? He's the one who decided to get in the car and possibly run over everybody.

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/Practical-Way-4583 on 2023-08-12 14:56:26.

She(20f) cheated on me(20m), sleeping with some guy she met at a bar. Later she broke up with me as I refused to have an open relationship. Back when we were together she had painted a portrait of me as a birthday gift. It was a beautiful work. I ripped it to pieces to release my anger. At first I didn’t tell anyone. Then one of our mutual friends asked and I told her.

She went on to tell my ex who came to my place and shouted at me about how she put a lot of effort into it, and that I could have returned it her. I told her I don’t care how much effort she put into it since she means nothing to me now and then kicked her out.

All our mutual friends are saying that I shouldn’t have torn the painting up. Did I go too far?

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/wonderlandbrine on 2023-08-12 12:47:45.

So my ex and I divorced 10 years ago and she was fighting me for custody which was costing me a lots of money. Since she was a SAHM mother, it was an uphill battle for me. So I was discussing it with my friend and he said why not give her custody and pay child support I are gonna spend that money on kids even when they are with me.

So I calculated that renting a 3 bedroom apartment will cost me like 4000 dollars here and CS will be less for both children. I went even further and discussed about living in my car and my friend offered me to park car in his garage if I am willing to mow his lawn weekly, which was a fine deal for me.

So for 5 years I was living in my car, then I found good deal on a house and bought it and I got roommates for it too so I live essentially for free and my yearly expenses are like 5000 dollars when I earn 6 figures, as you can see this means that I have a lots of money saved.

Okay so my old house where ex and kids lived caught fire, due to her stupidity. So now she is stuck with paying high rent on another house, and mortgage of when she bought my portion of the house. She does not earn much, she can't get mortgage for another house and she is facing bankruptcy. She asked for my help and I refused saying her problems are not my problems.

I pay CS regularly, its enough to pay rent on smaller apartment for the kids, yes after kids turn 18 she is on her own but that's not my problem. She called me asshole saying that kids have to live lower standard lifestyle because of my pettiness. I said thats not my problem. She fought for full custody now she can take full responsibility.

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/Pretty-Pumpkin_ on 2023-08-12 09:44:07.

I’m a newly single mom. I spent the past three months on unpaid maternity leave. I saved enough money to pay all my bills during those three months. In two weeks, I will be starting a new job (it pays more than my last job) and I just have to do training for 30 days then I get to work from home. So I just need someone to watch my baby for those 30 days that I will be working. My child’s father is a deadbeat and I’m still going through the process of child support but I don’t plan on getting it for another 6+ months. I have my own place, my car and I pay for all my expenses on my own.

My SIL at first said she would watch my baby for free since her and my brother didn’t attend my baby shower or get me a gift. Now she changed her mind and said give her what I can. I told her I can only give her a 100 a week and then I’ll pay her in fruits and milk (what I get free from wic) in a way to give her more. She would be watching him the first week for three days and the second week for 4 days and then some of my relatives said they’ll try and watch him when they’re off so she won’t have to watch him for a full 5 days the rest of the weeks. I let my SIL know and she seemed upset and said she needs to ask my brother and that she’ll call me back. She never called me back and is ignoring me now.. I’m assuming it’s a no.

I understand it’s low buts it’s all I can afford. I’m a little annoyed because in the past I have helped them out so much.. she told me that her sister pays her 200 for watching her 2 kids all week so I honestly figured a 100 a week + some groceries would be okay with her since it would only be for a month. My other sis n law is a stay at home mom as well and said she would have watched my baby for free but since she lives states away she can’t. My best friends mom offered to watch my baby for free and I would still give her the 100 a week if I end up going that route. I just helped my sis in law with nieces bday party. I took her to all the places she needed to go (she doesn’t drive) and helped her make all the things she wanted for my nieces bday and didn’t ask for a single thing. In the past I’ve made these extravagant 300-500 dollar cakes with themed cupcakes (I’m a baker) for my nieces bdays that she wanted for free or for as little as 50 dollars. If she refuses to watch him that’s fine, I don’t plan on making a deal out of it but would I be the AH if I stop helping her out in the future? I feel bad that I can’t pay her more ( I wish I could) but I can’t, AITAH for being upset?

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/CandidKey8865 on 2023-08-12 10:56:56.

I 20f have an older sister who we’ll call Chloe 32f. Chloe has 3 kids who I love dearly and treat them as if they were my own. Now my bank account has been hacked and I counted up $3,500 that got stolen (I know that’s not much money to some people, but it’s a lot to me). I have been to the bank twice and both times they have tracked the money down and told me all my money has gone to Chloe’s bank and she’s spent it all. I asked Chloe about it and both times she’s denied it. She does have a previous history of drug abuse which might be relevant to add. She’s engaged to a new bloke she’s only known for 3 months who’s got and AVO against him from his ex and a history of domestic violence which I think is a red flag. Within the first month of my sister and the guy who I’ll call Cody being together he made my sister and kids pack up everything and move to Sydney and left a cat and horses to fend for themselves (they’re safe now tho), he’s all round controlling and bad news all and all I don’t want him around my niece and nephews. I work really hard for my money, I travel around Australia and work on sheep and cattle stations all round tough labour that has taught me to earn my pay. I wouldn’t care if Chloe asked me to borrow money from me, but the fact that’s she’s stolen from me her own sister? Regrettably I went to the police to file a report. I didn’t want to as I know I’m never going to be able to see her kids again. I showed the cop all the evidence I have, wrote out a statement. He told me he’s going to have her charged with fraud. My Mum, my other siblings and partner have told me I’m making the right choice. But I don’t want to miss out on my niece and nephews growing up. So am I TA?

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/jewelrymaker27 on 2023-08-12 11:30:17.

I (44f) have a niece, Stella (16f) and yesterday we've got into an argument after she found my old diaries stating I resent her and her father.

My little sister got pregnant with twins when she was 22 years old and due to it, she had to give up her dream to become a doctor since her pregnancy was high risk. I begged her to not have the babies since her body might never recover and the risk of death was too great due to her health condition.

During the 7 month of the pregnancy, it gave us hope. She was still healthy and the babies were growing, but it was too good to be true. During the 31 week of her pregnancy, my BIL decided it would be good to take my sister to the rural area for fresh air during a big holiday since it will be good for the children. I am not clear about what happened, but in the middle of the night she started bleeding.

My sister gave birth that night, but she didn't make it because of how much blood she lost. Due to her being in a rural area during holiday, there wasn't good doctors around and when they arrived in the big city, it was too late. My niece is the only baby who survived since she was vertex but her twin didn't since they needed a C-section due to her being a transverse position.

I mourned my sister. I lost the only person who understood me and the only form for me to get rid of those feelings were writing. I wrote about everything I felt, including about my resentment towards the twins and their father. I believed if it weren't for them, my sister would still be alive and graduating med school.

In the beginning there was only hate towards them, but over the years I learned how to love my niece. She is the only thing my little sister left for me, so I started to cherish her even still existing resentment in my heart.

I decided to hide the diaries inside my room, so it became a prohibited place for my niece but recently Stella went into my room when I was buying groceries and she read everything. Stella asked me if I resent her and I said that I love her but I can't stop sometimes feeling resentment since I never stopped grieving for my sister.

Stella called me a fake, heartless person for being nice to her when I, in her words, hate her. She stormed off and went to her father's house, in which he called me angry demanding I apologize for making Stella feeling like she murdered her mother.

I feel sorry for her, but I don't think I should apologize since she overstepped a boundary and read my biggest secret. AITAH?

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/Internetmadeus on 2023-08-12 01:58:32.

I 27f and my boyfriend 27m were talking about our relationship and why we picked each other. We have been together for a little over a year and then he brought up marriage and how he isn’t sure if he wants to marry me. I said well yeah we have only been together for a year and lived with each other for a month now, that would be kinda fast. He corrected himself by saying “I know I love you but I don’t see myself marrying you.”, he could tell by my face that hurt me. He apologized and said that he thinks we have to mesh more to make sure he is certain that I am the one. As of right now we have a 45% success rate, that within a year or two we will probably break up. Those were his exact words. I stopped speaking and he kept saying he was sorry he didn’t mean to hurt my feelings. He kept saying he loves me and he isn’t going anywhere because he loves me.

I know I am his first ever relationship and I do not expect to move fast by any means. But I asked him why is he with me if he doesn’t see a future with me and all he can say is because he loves and cares about me.

I told him I would not accept his apology and that I would be reconsidering this “relationship”, he was upset that I couldn’t at least accept his apologies for how honest he was.

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/Ambitious_Rip903 on 2023-08-12 05:54:29.

I’m laying here holding my baby girl tight tonight. I don’t know what to do…

I (27 F) and my husband (28 M) have two children together (3 F & 1 M). We own a business and have been married for 4 years. The usual thing happened, we were young and carefree and got married and after having children everything changed. I started to feel under appreciated and he felt like because he upkept a lot of the financial and physical side of the business (I emotionally and physically exerted myself into the business as well and while I was pregnant twice I might add) that whenever I got upset that he wouldn’t help with house chores that I was ungrateful which wasn’t the case. I slowly became detached and depressed but have stuck it out for the kids but as a result we don’t sleep in the same room any more (after I had our son, it was easier to keep him separate from my husband so I could tend to the baby all night in the guest room while he slept in the master, I didn’t mind at all but he would call me lazy when I was tired and wanted to nap).

This has been going on for the last 4 years. There was a breaking point last October for me when I wanted a divorce but he begged to give him another chance and to try harder and even though I knew he wouldn’t change, I decided to stay to give my children a stable home and a loving father 24/7.

I’ve accepted the fact that I will never be happy with him but I deserved what I had because of the choices I made even when my gut told me otherwise and I still chose to have children and stay with him. I emotionally blunted in our relationship and tried to find happiness with my children whom I adore to no end.

That brings me to yesterday. I woke up in a terrible mood because of an disagreement that happened in the middle of the night regarding our daughter. I was exhausted from starting my period the day prior, tending to the baby at 5 am and I couldn’t go back to sleep. In the heat of our argument (he usually starts the yelling and this all took place in front of our daughter who was watching tv) he told me that I should go shoot myself. I scoffed and shook my head and looked at my daughter. I couldn’t believe he said that but I wasn’t surprised . He knows I suffer from depression and I kept thinking about how the last person who should ever say that to someone should be their spouse and yet here we are. He left for work and I stayed with the kids and emotionally detached. A whole 36 hours later and after me ending every conversation I had with him “well I’ll go shoot myself now”. He finally says sorry and I say “No you’re not” and walked away.

At this point, I want to give him the business and the house and everything (besides the kids) and go live with my mom.But I also keep thinking he’s so immature and truly maybe let his anger get the better of him but at the same time I don’t know if I can be with someone knowing they said something so hurtful and messed up in front of his children. Am I the asshole for wanting to leave and break apart my family?

Long story short; my husband told me to shoot myself during an argument and I wanna know if I would be a jerk for leaving him over that.

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/Temporary-Tiger-9499 on 2023-08-12 05:48:13.

I25f was engaged to my fiancé27m. We were together 2 years, and engaged for 5 months. My ex fiancé has 2 children with his ex, and last week he took his kids out for the day. He ended up sleeping over there, where he didn’t answer his phone for the whole night after 9pm. The next day he texted me and said he was so exhausted he fell asleep on their couch. I was at our apartment, waiting and worrying about him. I left him, because I don’t want a marriage with someone who sleeps at his exes house and leaves me hanging for hours.

When my ex fiancé came home, I was packing and told him I was going to stay at my moms and we were done. He was obviously really upset, and my reasoning pissed him off. He said there was nothing unfaithful with what he was doing, and that he was there with his kids and was so exhausted and just watched tv then passed out. He said I was completely over reacting, and I needed to take a breath and stop acting this way. I don’t think I’m overreacting, he went MIA for over 10 hours, and had me at home worrying. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/Agreeable-Bill-2208 on 2023-08-12 03:44:12.

This is going to be long but I need to get this off my chest. I've lost all love for my mother as she has for me.

This isn't dramatic, I genuinely think my mother doesn't love me. She has never looked at me with love, happiness or compassion, she has never told me she loved me. If I'm lucky I'll get a look or huff of annoyance, other than that it's just a cold blank stare.

I'm called ungrateful constantly. I ask for basic respect I'm ungrateful, get irritated with something I'm ungrateful, show I'm contempt I'm ungrateful.

When I was in the hospital for nearly taking my life she didn't ask if I was ok, she didn't offer me anything, she didn't even visit me on my birthday while i was in the hospital, instead taking my siblings to the aquarium.

When I told her of my assault she asked if I seduced the men into doing that to me. When I smiled while speaking to a old teacher she asked if I slept with him.

And ive tried, I've tried so much to have a relationship with my mother, every action or every word is met with annoyance. I give her a mothers day gift, she awkwardly says thanks and throw it away. I have a conversation with her she calls it a useless, fake conversation, I express love and worry for her it's met with irritation because "it's out of character". Yet, she says it's my fault that our relationship is like this, That I dont speak to her or confide in her.

We had another fight just today and that was it. I've heard her over and over again, that she didn't care and that she'll kick me out of her life and it finally clicked. She doesn't care, she doesn't love me, Why should I make her?

I'm 16, so I'm not exactly in the right financial situation to get emancipated or move out. But as soon as I turn 18 I plan on leaving and cutting her out for my life except to see and talk my siblings, I'm going to travel the Americas with my boyfriend and our Pitbull.

Mom, you've always wanted to be a woman who's alone, congrats, you lost a child. Now I hope my siblings will realize how much of a miserable woman you are.

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/TheGreaseWagon on 2023-08-12 03:20:52.

Girlfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years, now. I'm an Army Vet and I have my fair share of issues, both mental and physical. To the point where I actively refused any sort of psych help. It wasn't until I had a gun in my mouth that I thought I might want to go see someone. So, a few weeks in a mental hospital and I had some of the tools I needed. I finally, recently, gathered up the courage to go see a Psychologist and Psychiatrist and there was talk about going through the VA to get a Service Animal to help me day-to-day.

So I get in the car and tell my girlfriend that I'm going to make an appointment to get my eyes looked at and maybe while im at the VA, I can see about a Service Animal. Without missing a beat, my girlfriend said "You don't need a Service Animal." That shocked me. How could she even THINK that was a good thing to say? Flabbergasted.

Obviously this led to a fight in which I found out that she doesn't want to have to have a dog everywhere we go, and that's the reason she doesn't want me to have a Service Animal. So, I told her that this federally recognized Animal is medical equipment in the eyes of the government, and that saying this stuff is akin to telling someone they don't need their wheelchair because they don't want to have to bring it everywhere they go. I then told her this is a make or break deal.

AITAH?

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The original was posted on /r/aitah by /u/its_cloudd on 2023-08-12 01:41:32.

Am I the asshole for not helping my bf pay his rent and will possibly get evicted? He gambled all his rent money. Down to ZERO.

I initially said okay I will help you pay for the materials on a job (he's a contractor) so you can get paid and from there you can pay your bills and eventually pay me back. Well it turns out that when he went to the bank to cash his check ge was negative 3k because he overdraft it too... you guessed it... to gamble.

Now I've given him 3k and he was unable to resolve anything and needs to pay rent. On top of that our cells phones were shut off. And he needs to his number for work. So I might have to pay for that ($300).

His rent is 3k and I'm just not willing to give him a total of 6k just cuz he decided to risk it all and gamble.

I feel bad as he's getting really depressed but he owes me sooo much money and won't change his habits.

Am I the asshole?